LEECH: The Medicaid


Tacting - Tact doesn't come easily to a Leech, but some of the weird ones decide a good "bedside manner" might be important.

1: Explain to small children that world poverty is really their fault
2: Crack "She's Dead, Jim" jokes when you've just lost Jim's wife
3: Think to say, "I'm sorry"
4: Catchphrase: "There's nothing anyone could have done"
5: Wait until the right moment, and then gently explain some of the benefits of having lost a wife

Inertness - There are times when the most important thing you can do is stay still and out of the way. There are also times when that's not humanly possible. Fortunately, Leeches aren't entirely human.

1: Can relax as long as you have a magazine or TV
2: Often stop and smell the roses
3: Convincingly fake sleep
4: Convincingly feign death
5: Frequently mistaken for a statue. Alas, even by pigeons.

Nervous Tics - These aren't so much reflexes as they are random or exaggerated firings of synapse, but let's not quibble semantics, eh? The Talon can be used to closely simulate reflexes, anyway.

1: Give yourself away at poker
2: Described as `twitchy' by all your friends
3: Flinch when someone hits you on the shoulder
4: Need at least five feet clear on the dance floor
5: Go into grand mal seizures at will

Droll - Yes, it really IS possible to bore someone to sleep...

1: Just don't have much interesting to say
2: Have mastered the monotone voice
3: Memorized War and Peace, and recite it often
4: Have that one fishing story you like to tell over and over and...
5: Regularly carry around a case with a slide projector and pictures from every vacation you've ever been on. Ever.

Lodge - The Lodge is a doctors-only club that meets up in the mountains, wears loincloths and funny hats, sweats a lot, rolls around in the mud, and does a lot of screaming and beating on drums with no particular rhythm. How hygienic this might be, and how this is any different from any heavy metal band, are two things that haven't been scientifically determined yet. The perks that come with joining are just like any other secret society/union, plus you get to wear better hats.

1: Mud Boy (Have to smear mud in your hair for meetings)
2: Acolyte (Moose hat)
3: Grand Poo-bah (Fruit hat)
4: Lord High Big Cheese (Mitre)
5: The Man (Beer cap)

EMTathy - Of the few Leeches who actually practice medicine, a smattering have even gone so far as to learn how to do it in the field, without the machine that goes `ping'.

1: Know the heimlich maneuver
2: Administer CPR
3: Know how to apply a tourniquet
4: Trained as a lifeguard
5: Once did a successful heart transplant with two paperclips, a pocket knife, and a can of beer...of your own heart.

Intimation - This is the skill of saying things without actually saying them.

1: Simile and bear it: "He's dead as a doorknob."
2: Never metaphor you didn't like: "He's gone on to that great pool hall in the sky."
3: Euphem and other -isms: "Daddy's taking a very long nap."
4: Cure for the common code: "Dot dot dot, dash dot, dash dash dot..."
5: The ultimate in body language. The player may convey up to three words for every success rolled, with his character making the barest signal - a grunt, nod, or whatever

Cheat-or-Gyp - Creative mathematics and clever wording.

1: "Trade you this huge, shiny nickel for your tiny little dime..."
2: "Heads I win, tails you lose."
3: Explain why Alexander the Great had infinite arms
4: Could write copy for the Personals classifieds
5: Have worked out a written proof that 2+2=5

Skeet-wise - Shooting skeet is a common skill for the upper class, and if a Leech isn't upper class, he'd bloody well better act it anyway.

1: Can shoot cans off a fence...from three feet away, with a shotgun
2: Hit an unmoving target with a rifle
3: Get frequent bulls-eyes
4: Regularly hit moving targets
5: As a kid, you -shot- the wings off flies with your first BB gun

Subtle-Fugue - Hey, sometimes it's GOOD to forget. This Talon also happens to include singing skill.

1: Conveniently forget birthdays and anniversaries
2: Don't retain unimportant names
3: Space out major holidays and scheduled commitments
4: Temporarily blank on your OWN name
5: Completely forget about whatever dastardly deed you just performed/authorized, so that you can sleep nights, pass a polygraph, or whatever.

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Left to take a trip on the Attriboats.
Right for a look at our collection of Skulls.