LEECH: The Medicaid


Animal Husbandry - Your ability to get along with those fellow inhabitants of Spaceship Earth who just happen to have more or fewer legs than you do.

1: Truly prize your fellows of Order Primata
2: Wuv your cuddwy-wuddwy fwiends in Cwass Mammawia
3: All of the Phylum Vertebrata is cool. If it has a spine, it's a man, damnit.
4: The entire Animal Kingdom is as Disney to you.
5: Really love your fellow creatures. No, *really*. Don't make me spell this out.

Derive - Leaping to conclusions, or otherwise drawing more out of something than the actual content gives away.

1: "Ohh, you say he LEFT. So, that means he's not here now, right?"
2: Can do connect-the-dots in your head
3: Learned your early anatomy from that "...bone's connected to the..." song
4: Have never failed a Rorschach test
5: Let's see, now. If 2+2=4, then...the world must be round, right? I mean, once you have arithmetic, geometry just follows. Duh.

Antiquity - Many Leeches collect things from the past. If you have this

Skull, you may, too, or at least know where to get them. Note that your Liability level in this indicates not only the dice you roll, but from how far in the past you might have something.

1: Anything from colonial times on up; an early industrial, rusty, steam-powered dentist drill, perhaps.
2: Renaissance stuff; a jar of actual leeches and a barber pole
3: Thousands of years ago; a dual-purpose set of chopsticks/ acupuncture needles from the Ming dynasty
4: Prehistoric times; even a peseshkef might be possible
5: A handful of rocks, still warm from before the Earth cooled

Fire RNs - Placing the blame on an underling is only the first step...after that, you have to get rid of them so they can't give their side of the story. This is your skill at giving underlings the ol' pink slip. (By which I mean, firing them. We're doctors, not congressmen, here.)

1: Sneak the message onto their desk and hope they find it
2: Tell them via e-mail or voicemail while they're on vacation
3: Delegate another underling to handle it
4: Invite them into your office, offer them doughnuts, and then tell it to 'em straight
5: Make a habit of `downsizing' your department at least once a month, and then hire most of them back as consultants the next week

Me Too - This is your ability to attach yourself to someone else's success. In addition to its use in getting yourself assigned to impotent -- important, that is, projects, this can also be used immediately after another player has done something successfully, by calling out (out of turn, even) the phrase associated with your level of skill. You can roll your Me Too (NOT bolstered by any Attriboat), and if you get at least as many successes as they did, do the -exact same thing-, even if it would normally be impossible for you.

1: Me, Too!
2: I, Also!
3: Myself, As Well!
4: And Yae Verily, So Unto Go I!
5: Betcha Half A Dollar I Could Do That!

Muzak - This is the catch-all art skill for Leeches, except that they seem incapable of truly creative works. Instead, they take something they consider beautiful and warp it into something bland and vaguely nauseating.

1: One instrument/art form
2: Two instruments/art forms
3: Three instruments/art forms
4: Four instruments/art forms
5: Five instruments/art forms

Reaper - While most Leeches profess to attempt to cure the sick and heal the wounded...or at least prolong life for as long as the credit rating holds out...some learn rather to Take Those Whose Time Has Come.

1: Mortuary cosmetician - you can't help them while they're dying, but you can make them look more peaceful after they're dead
2: Hospice orderly - plus, you know the rules to backgammon
3: Plug-puller - Okay, starving to death isn't pleasant, but it's effective and legal
4: Suicide King - In addition to suggesting higher-than-normal doses of certain pain medications, you may be ordained to some church to take confessionals
5: Card carrying member of the Hemlock Society

Tech-Parity - Who cares about the Jones? Keeping up with the Jetsons is tougher, but a lot more fun if you can do it. Note that the level of the skill entails not only how many dice you can roll, but also how far out the stuff you might get for it can be. However, the LT for more advanced items will probably still be harder, and the Storytiller may also require spending Billfold points, especially if it's going to stay around for more than one use.

1: All the best available on the market
2: Access to cutting-edge tech before it's released
3: Friends in various corporate R&D departments
4: Black market contacts who sell the latest secret government stuff
5: Connections with the intergalactic trade routes

S'truth - It's not so much the skill to lie well as it is the ability to stick to your story in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

1: "'Onesht, ossifer, I'm drot nunk. *hic*"
2: "As a matter of fact, my darling, I was thinking about buying YOU this bright red lipstick, and, uh, had the lady at the counter put some on my collar so you could see if you like it first. Like a perfume sample."
3: "Before I answer that, let me ask you one thing. Do you believe in UFOs?"
4: "That's not ME on that bank video. It's my...long lost evil twin, George!"
5: "The cat did it."

Sir Viva! - It's a little more blatant than Obsequate, but this is the ultimate yes-man skill.

1: "Yes!"
2: "Nooooo problemo!" (Only devoted yes men *ever* say "problemo". It's a dead giveaway.)
3: "Your humble servant hears and obeys, Mistress."
4: "By the way, Holy One, I converted my family over to your cult this weekend. We'll be selling off everything we own to contribute towards your new limo. Happy driving!"
5: "Sure, you can have sex with my wife. She'll be thrilled to finally have a real man, sir."

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To the left, you look deep into Leech's beady little Talons.
To the right, gain some Gnawledge.