The Malpractivans are the experimental wing of the Plans. They try out the new procedures, new equipment, and new drugs. These latter, especially, they often test on themselves, you know, just to be, uh, safe. The rest of the Plans often -try- to keep the Malpractivan under wraps, but it can be difficult...for one thing, when they have a new miracle cure (or diet plan), they rush out on late night TV and try to sell it themselves first.
They're best known for their most notorious members...the alchemists of old, and the ones who performed unsanctioned experiments on human subjects. Some modern Malpractivans refuse to give up the old ways, which harms the status of the Plan as a whole...but then, they also make things that go "boom" very nicely, so the Buboha like 'em.
Note that the Malpractivan are very choosy about who they embrace, generally keeping that down to the extremely select group of people who won't run screaming if they try. Many Malpractivans never find someone to hold.
Appearance: Bad hair is a common thread. So is forgetting to wear pants.
Heaven: A state-of-the-art lab with unlimited test subjects who have no pesky family going to come looking for them. They're inclined to daydream about repealing those pesky consent laws, too.
Background: Malpractivans are often the best and the brightest...the ones who get laughed out of proper medical journals for trying to publish the results of alchemical processes, or unsanctioned experiments on human subjects. They get picked up fresh out of school and hurried off to hidden labs, where they're often locked up underground for the first five to ten years without sunlight or lima beans.
Genesis Guidelines: Brainy attriboats and Gnawledges are usually Prim, while their Friendlies have a tendency to degenerate. The others try to keep them as Intrados, but many envision themselves as Springers, Keystones, or Imposts. The most common Backrubs are probably Nerd and Genter.
Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Auspice, Celebrity, Domicile
Weak Kneesies: Show them a bottle of something new and bright blue, and they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. So long as it's a handful of new, bright blue pills, anyway. They also tend to like very shiny sharp things.
Organ Donation: Absolutely. Someone else's, to be sure, but they're all for it.
Quote: "It's alive! ALIVE, I say! Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that. Would you pass the butter, then?"
Stereotypes: Probably something they threw together themselves out of old appliances they broke trying to turn into other things. It'll pick up three local stations and signals from Alpha Centauri.
return to Plan Index