LEECH: The Medicaid This system is centered around the "Storytiller" concept. The Storytiller, like a rototiller, exists to chop you into little bits and grind you into the dirt. We will refer to the Storytiller alternately as OGL&M, for Oh Great Lord & Master; a choice we prefer in that it leaves no confusion just who's in charge here. {Alternately, it sometimes stands for Oh Great Lady & Mistress. If this is the case, just brace yourself. Lady Storytillers are the worst. Male Storytillers you can often bribe with little donuts and get little considerations, but the female of the species you have to bribe just so she'll deign to grind you beneath her heel.} You're probably wondering about now, "Leech? LEECH? Alright, Prestidigitatorrs, fine, that made sense. Dumpy Balding Guys...that was stretching things, but sure, you managed to make people who were essentially putty into something amusing, anyway, and we're all excited about the Bestat supplement. But leeches? How can you possibly make blood-sucking parasites of no socially redeeming value...interesting?" Well, I must say, I've often wondered the same thing regarding the inspiration for this piece, but that's just me. In Leech: The Medicaid, however, we're referring to a somewhat different form of parasite...the medical profession. Before I get into the actual game, I wish to note that personally, I have significant respect for doctors and medical science as a whole. It has failings, of course, but most of the problems herein ascribed to the medical industry I actually believe come from a different source - to wit, the insurance industry, which truly befits the description, "parasite". (One day, I hope, people are going to look around and realize that insurance companies, when it comes down to it, provide -absolutely no service whatsoever-; they just collect money and occasionally give a little bit back, but if they provided a net benefit to society, they logically couldn't function. It's pretty impressive, in a way...the Kashinhand Brotherhood could only dream of claiming credit for an operation that big.) But, enough of that. In Leech, you get the opportunity to play a member of the medical profession at its worst...interested in collecting cash and playing golf, with its services based largely on quackery and pseudoscience. What does it mean to be a Leech? Primarily, it means you've traded in your very humanity for the trappings of wealth. The ultimate focus of your life is to suck the money from your vict..patients, though you may pretend to other obsessions. But though it means you may never interact normally in human society again without some dolt hitting you up for free advice about his gross and embarrassing problems, there are some advantages. Almost all Leeches have a kind of retractable morality, able to present themselves as sincerely interested in the healing and betterment of mankind. Once the sucker bites, the Leech need only get his or her credit card numbers and partake freely. Leeches usually carry around significant amounts of cash which can be used to perform superhuman feats, like being seated as soon as you arrive at certain high class country club restaurants. And finally, they're initiated into the society of the Medicaid, rife with politics, for which all Leeches learn certain delicate (or blunt) Kiss-Up Lines. But this is not to say there isn't a downside. The first regards the sun, which most Leeches will not see for at least eight years of medical school. Also, Leeches are creatures of the latest fad, and tend to be rather Trendy regarding their practice...when a particular drug or treatment comes out, they all tend to start prescribing it for everything; whether this is a real compulsion or just laziness is unknown. As a Leech, you'll be occasionally (very occasionally) bothered by your Morals. Other Leeches who are competing for the same grant money and patients you need will do almost anything to get ahead and knock you down. A stick of wood through your chest will most certainly do a lot of damage. There are, however, a few misconceptions about Leeches as well. For one, they don't spend THAT much time admiring themselves in front of mirrors, as a group...that's Wreaths. Holy Cymbals and Gongs have been out of vogue for a long time now. And while they may just pop into patients' rooms without knocking, they, like the rest of us, consider it very rude to do so in almost any other context. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- GENESIS The creation of your Leech should begin with some idea who your character will be. The Leeches, at least according to myth, exist according to some Plan; which aspect of this Plan you work for is the first major decision...and it IS major. Your Plan will limit many of the choices coming up, so before choosing, you'll want to check out the detailed descriptions of each. The Plans are: Nosoferous Ostracized by the rest of the profession, these hideous creatures keep the rest in business. Trematore Perhaps the best understanding of what it is to be a Leech, these specialize in parasitism. Dentrue The dentists and administrators. Gangren Experts in extreme conditions and tissue death. Torporador Anesthesiologists and the ones who get comatose patients. Buboha Dealers primarily in swelling, infections, and inflammations, whether treating or doling out. Malpractivan The most "out front" of the Leeches, this Plan dabbles in the latest techniques, often before they're approved. Midwiff The Midwiffs are not technically part of the Plan, but often provide more real help to their patients. Generally despised by the rest of the Plans. With that settled, you get to choose what's referred to as your "arch type". You see, the Leech's are very well organized, if far from cooperative. But in the beginning, this wasn't the case. No, back in antiquity, they were organized even worse than these rules. Then, sometime during the Renaissance, a young architect named Nathanial Andrew d'Manor (Nat 'Drew d'Manor, to his friends) was indoctrinated. He came up with a system of classifying Leeches and of organizing their operations, all based around arch building...so, these days, every Leech must select an Arch Type. Actually, what you pick is what part of an Arch you'd most like to be, as per; Abutement: Support staff. Not technically OF the profession, Abutements are the janitors, procurement officers, and sometimes administrators... Springer: The person really in charge, but not the one in the spotlight. Powers behind the thrones, Springers are excellent at giving direction without showing themselves as noticeably different from anyone else. Voussoir: The people Springers are in charge of. Voussoirs are the `extras' of the medical profession - the bulk of the people, but rarely noticed. A good choice for Leeches who don't want too much attention - Nosoferous often find this useful. Keystone: Not like the Kops; the Keystone is at the summit of Voussoirdom. These are usually the surgeons and head doctors, at the center of the action the Springers direct. Extrados: The Extrados are on the outer curve of things - mostly the spokesmen for the profession, and not necessarily real `performers'. Pier: The inverse of the Extrados, though they can be difficult to tell apart. The Pier put up the walls against the press, blocking access and view to the information the Leeches don't want becoming public knowledge by whatever means necessary. Impost: The Impost is the motivational force - the pep squad, as it were, or perhaps more like a congressional Whip; the Springers use Imposts to get the Voussoir's moving. Some Imposts take the saccharine-sweet approach of offering rewards, while others find that bad for the teeth and prefer the harsh rulership of fear. Intrados: On the inside track, the Intrados shun public contact and do the things the Pier work so hard to hide - the worst of animal, and sometimes even human, testing is done by the Intrados, as is most of the accounting. Next come the Attriboats. If you're familiar with any of the rest of the Storytiller series, either prepare for a heavy dose of deja-vu, or feel free to skip ahead to Liabilities. [Don't worry about this too much - it's easier just to refer to it Attriboats are divided into three categories, which at by what number least kind of refer to what's in them. The attriboats dot you ended themselves are referred to by a vocalization which I, at at. least, associate with what they're actually referring to. But for later However, in the acknowledgment that not everyone would reference, logically leap to the same associations I have, I'll be remember: generous and explain them all. * 1 = First, though, to detail the way you know how good they Destroyer are. Each attriboat has, well, a boat. For each major = Wimpy category, you get either 7, 5, or 3 lines with which to * 2 = connect the dots. An attriboat with no additional lines Cruiser = (still at the first dot) is at the `destroyer' level. Average Connecting to the second dot makes it a `cruiser'. The * 3 = third dot makes it a `submarine.' The fourth is a Submarine `battleship'. And if you have all four lines connected, = Pretty it's all the way to `carrier'. {With thanks to Milton Good Bradley.} * 4 = Battleship = Really Good * 5 = Carrier = Great.] Oh, and just for the record, the couple that go all the way up to 10 are called "Steamliners".] It is ENTIRELY up to you which major category gets how many lines, except that it has to be divided up just like that (7/5/3) because, well, we trust you, but we don't trust you THAT much. [The highest-assigned is called your "Prim" category, the middle is "Fecund", and the lowest "Tepid."] The first major category are your Fizzy aspects. ("Fizzy", of course, is a casual reference to "fizzikal"); Unh - brute strength: your ability to pummel lesser beings into submission with your bare hands and to lift incredibly heavy pieces of round metal attached to the ends of a metal bar and to actually require that 110% from a certain speed-stick deodorant. Whee - movement: spinning casually to the side when someone tries to pummel you into submission with his bare hands, smoothly sliding the credit card to jiggle the lock just right, and stepping lightly when you sneak out of your room to raid the cookie jar. Urrrrrgh - batteries: pressing on when every muscle is screaming out in agony, listening while your parents drone on about the importance of a higher education, or even listening to your walkman with the dial turned all the way up and not having your brain explode on the innocent man sitting at the bus stop waiting for the #17 so he can just for once maybe get to work on time. The second major category are your Brainy aspects. (If you don't get the reference, you don't have to worry about 'em.) Oh-ho - acuity: sighting land from a ship, hearing the catch in your SO's voice that tells you s/he's serious about breaking up this time, smelling the burning when the little brat sets fire to your shoes. Aha - mental power: solving the theory of relativity, remembering you're out of milk in time to pick up another gallon, operating the space shuttle, and just possibly even programming the VCR. Eureka - intuition and quick thought: solving riddles, making up a ghost story on the spur of the moment...high Eureka means never having to say, "oh, I WISH I'd said.." Finally, the third major category, your Friendly aspects: Hi - Likeability: Getting voted in as Prom Queen, having a warm, friendly handshake, setting your fiancee's parents at ease. Hmmmm - influencing people: haggling for a better price at the flea market, talking the police officer into letting you off with a warning, convincing your secretary that your wife really wouldn't mind. Hoo-baby - looks: flexing those hunky biceps, flashing those tanned legs, giving that perfect come-hither smile. Fourthly, come Liabilities. Don't let the name fool you - used properly, these will be liabilities for OTHER people. Once again, there are three kinds of liabilities: Talons, Skulls, and Gnawledges. Talons are, kindaveryloosely, the kinds of hands-on things that anyone can do, but not necessarily well. Anything listed under Talons can probably be tried even without any practice in it as a pure attriboat-roll, but if you want a real chance at it, you probably want to go ahead and put some points into them. Skulls are things that take more thought, but can be learned pretty much just through practice. These are definitely harder to do without any head start, though some can at least be attempted. Finally, Gnawledges are the kinds of things you have to really keep plugging away at. Any attempt to do most of these without liability points is probably going to flop and make you look stupid, like complaining for months that you need a new computer because this old one doesn't work, only to find out that it just hasn't been plugged in the whole time and if you just put that thing with the pointy bits into the matching holes in the wall, it runs fine. These, like attriboats, are ranked (by you) into Prim, Fecund, and Tepid, but here, they give you a baker's dozen, the triplet triad, and the square root of a quarter. {That's 13, 9, and 5. Geeze.} Oh, but don't get carried away - you can't build any of these Liabilities higher than a Submarine, or we break into your house and set your character sheet on fire. Some people just have to be forced into making a well-rounded character, and if that means you, keep this in mind: Don't put any of these past 3 yet. Not even half-past three. If you want a Liability past three, wait until you get your KillerBee points, (which I'll describe when I'm good and ready.) Also, you'll probably note that all the boats from here on are missing the foredeck; in order to have one at all, you have to put one of your lines there, from 0 to 1. So, before I get too far ahead of myself: The Liabilities, and detailed descriptions thereof! TALONS: Tacting - Tact doesn't come easily to a Leech, but some of the weird ones decide a good "bedside manner" might be important. 1: Explain to small children that world poverty is really their fault 2: Crack "She's Dead, Jim" jokes when you've just lost Jim's wife 3: Think to say, "I'm sorry" 4: Catchphrase: "There's nothing anyone could have done" 5: Wait until the right moment, and then gently explain some of the benefits of having lost a wife Inertness - There are times when the most important thing you can do is stay still and out of the way. There are also times when that's not humanly possible. Fortunately, Leeches aren't entirely human. 1: Can relax as long as you have a magazine or TV 2: Often stop and smell the roses 3: Convincingly fake sleep 4: Convincingly feign death 5: Frequently mistaken for a statue. Alas, even by pigeons. Nervous Tics - These aren't so much reflexes as they are random or exaggerated firings of synapse, but let's not quibble semantics, eh? The Talon can be used to closely simulate reflexes, anyway. 1: Give yourself away at poker 2: Described as `twitchy' by all your friends 3: Flinch when someone hits you on the shoulder 4: Need at least five feet clear on the dance floor 5: Go into grand mal seizures at will Droll - Yes, it really IS possible to bore someone to sleep... 1: Just don't have much interesting to say 2: Have mastered the monotone voice 3: Memorized War and Peace, and recite it often 4: Have that one fishing story you like to tell over and over and... 5: Regularly carry around a case with a slide projector and pictures from every vacation you've ever been on. Ever. Lodge - The Lodge is a doctors-only club that meets up in the mountains, wears loincloths and funny hats, sweats a lot, rolls around in the mud, and does a lot of screaming and beating on drums with no particular rhythm. How hygienic this might be, and how this is any different from any heavy metal band, are two things that haven't been scientifically determined yet. The perks that come with joining are just like any other secret society/union, plus you get to wear better hats. 1: Mud Boy (Have to smear mud in your hair for meetings) 2: Acolyte (Moose hat) 3: Grand Poo-bah (Fruit hat) 4: Lord High Big Cheese (Mitre) 5: The Man (Beer cap) EMTathy - Of the few Leeches who actually practice medicine, a smattering have even gone so far as to learn how to do it in the field, without the machine that goes `ping'. 1: Know the heimlich maneuver 2: Administer CPR 3: Know how to apply a tourniquet 4: Trained as a lifeguard 5: Once did a successful heart transplant with two paperclips, a pocket knife, and a can of beer...of your own heart. Intimation - This is the skill of saying things without actually saying them. 1: Simile and bear it: "He's dead as a doorknob." 2: Never metaphor you didn't like: "He's gone on to that great pool hall in the sky." 3: Euphem and other -isms: "Daddy's taking a very long nap." 4: Cure for the common code: "Dot dot dot, dash dot, dash dash dot..." 5: The ultimate in body language. The player may convey up to three words for every success rolled, with his character making the barest signal - a grunt, nod, or whatever Cheat-or-Gyp - Creative mathematics and clever wording. 1: "Trade you this huge, shiny nickel for your tiny little dime..." 2: "Heads I win, tails you lose." 3: Explain why Alexander the Great had infinite arms 4: Could write copy for the Personals classifieds 5: Have worked out a written proof that 2+2=5 Skeet-wise - Shooting skeet is a common skill for the upper class, and if a Leech isn't upper class, he'd bloody well better act it anyway. 1: Can shoot cans off a fence...from three feet away, with a shotgun 2: Hit an unmoving target with a rifle 3: Get frequent bulls-eyes 4: Regularly hit moving targets 5: As a kid, you -shot- the wings off flies with your first BB gun Subtle-Fugue - Hey, sometimes it's GOOD to forget. This Talon also happens to include singing skill. 1: Conveniently forget birthdays and anniversaries 2: Don't retain unimportant names 3: Space out major holidays and scheduled commitments 4: Temporarily blank on your OWN name 5: Completely forget about whatever dastardly deed you just performed/authorized, so that you can sleep nights, pass a polygraph, or whatever. SKULLS: Animal Husbandry - Your ability to get along with those fellow inhabitants of Spaceship Earth who just happen to have more or fewer legs than you do. 1: Truly prize your fellows of Order Primata 2: Wuv your cuddwy-wuddwy fwiends in Cwass Mammawia 3: All of the Phylum Vertebrata is cool. If it has a spine, it's a man, damnit. 4: The entire Animal Kingdom is as Disney to you. 5: Really love your fellow creatures. No, *really*. Don't make me spell this out. Derive - Leaping to conclusions, or otherwise drawing more out of something than the actual content gives away. 1: "Ohh, you say he LEFT. So, that means he's not here now, right?" 2: Can do connect-the-dots in your head 3: Learned your early anatomy from that "...bone's connected to the..." song 4: Have never failed a Rorschach test 5: Let's see, now. If 2+2=4, then...the world must be round, right? I mean, once you have arithmetic, geometry just follows. Duh. Antiquity - Many Leeches collect things from the past. If you have this Skull, you may, too, or at least know where to get them. Note that your Liability level in this indicates not only the dice you roll, but from how far in the past you might have something. 1: Anything from colonial times on up; an early industrial, rusty, steam-powered dentist drill, perhaps. 2: Renaissance stuff; a jar of actual leeches and a barber pole 3: Thousands of years ago; a dual-purpose set of chopsticks/ acupuncture needles from the Ming dynasty 4: Prehistoric times; even a peseshkef might be possible 5: A handful of rocks, still warm from before the Earth cooled Fire RNs - Placing the blame on an underling is only the first step...after that, you have to get rid of them so they can't give their side of the story. This is your skill at giving underlings the ol' pink slip. (By which I mean, firing them. We're doctors, not congressmen, here.) 1: Sneak the message onto their desk and hope they find it 2: Tell them via e-mail or voicemail while they're on vacation 3: Delegate another underling to handle it 4: Invite them into your office, offer them doughnuts, and then tell it to 'em straight 5: Make a habit of `downsizing' your department at least once a month, and then hire most of them back as consultants the next week Me Too - This is your ability to attach yourself to someone else's success. In addition to its use in getting yourself assigned to impotent -- important, that is, projects, this can also be used immediately after another player has done something successfully, by calling out (out of turn, even) the phrase associated with your level of skill. You can roll your Me Too (NOT bolstered by any Attriboat), and if you get at least as many successes as they did, do the -exact same thing-, even if it would normally be impossible for you. 1: Me, Too! 2: I, Also! 3: Myself, As Well! 4: And Yae Verily, So Unto Go I! 5: Betcha Half A Dollar I Could Do That! Muzak - This is the catch-all art skill for Leeches, except that they seem incapable of truly creative works. Instead, they take something they consider beautiful and warp it into something bland and vaguely nauseating. 1: One instrument/art form 2: Two instruments/art forms 3: Three instruments/art forms 4: Four instruments/art forms 5: Five instruments/art forms Reaper - While most Leeches profess to attempt to cure the sick and heal the wounded...or at least prolong life for as long as the credit rating holds out...some learn rather to Take Those Whose Time Has Come. 1: Mortuary cosmetician - you can't help them while they're dying, but you can make them look more peaceful after they're dead 2: Hospice orderly - plus, you know the rules to backgammon 3: Plug-puller - Okay, starving to death isn't pleasant, but it's effective and legal 4: Suicide King - In addition to suggesting higher-than-normal doses of certain pain medications, you may be ordained to some church to take confessionals 5: Card carrying member of the Hemlock Society Tech-Parity - Who cares about the Jones? Keeping up with the Jetsons is tougher, but a lot more fun if you can do it. Note that the level of the skill entails not only how many dice you can roll, but also how far out the stuff you might get for it can be. However, the LT for more advanced items will probably still be harder, and the Storytiller may also require spending Billfold points, especially if it's going to stay around for more than one use. 1: All the best available on the market 2: Access to cutting-edge tech before it's released 3: Friends in various corporate R&D departments 4: Black market contacts who sell the latest secret government stuff 5: Connections with the intergalactic trade routes S'truth - It's not so much the skill to lie well as it is the ability to stick to your story in the face of all evidence to the contrary. 1: "'Onesht, ossifer, I'm drot nunk. *hic*" 2: "As a matter of fact, my darling, I was thinking about buying YOU this bright red lipstick, and, uh, had the lady at the counter put some on my collar so you could see if you like it first. Like a perfume sample." 3: "Before I answer that, let me ask you one thing. Do you believe in UFOs?" 4: "That's not ME on that bank video. It's my...long lost evil twin, George!" 5: "The cat did it." Sir Viva! - It's a little more blatant than Obsequate, but this is the ultimate yes-man skill. 1: "Yes!" 2: "Nooooo problemo!" (Only devoted yes men *ever* say "problemo". It's a dead giveaway.) 3: "Your humble servant hears and obeys, Mistress." 4: "By the way, Holy One, I converted my family over to your cult this weekend. We'll be selling off everything we own to contribute towards your new limo. Happy driving!" 5: "Sure, you can have sex with my wife. She'll be thrilled to finally have a real man, sir." GNAWLEDGES: Sure-Are-Classy - Beyond etiquette and well into snobbery. 1: Had that "pointy nose" job done. 2: Always wear your Rolex and Armani sunglasses. 3: Know how to dangle a cigarette 4: Never look at or speak directly to "the help" 5: Had your fur coat given a spray-paint resistant coating Compu-leer - The average Leech has only one use for the Internet: Porn. Er, that is, anatomical studies. Well, okay, and stock market reports. 1: Know how to get to the Payboy and Spendhouse sites 2: Registered on a few major commercial areas 3: Have two or three chatroom personas 4: A full suite of usenet groups 5: Host your own from an off-shore server Fine Dance- They may be moralless scum, but you've gotta admit...Leeches CAN dance, if they put their mind to it. 1: Slam dancing 2: Jitterbug, mashed potato, and twist 3: Waltz, square dancing, or other line-dance types 4: Invent your own moves, and have them catch on 5: Can actually Tango alone Investing is Fun - For those poor, sad Leeches who have to support themselves, there's no better choice than the stock market. 1: Controlling share in "Enemas `B' We" 2: Good use of IRAs and 401(k) plans 3: Have a broker and a fairly diverse portfolio 4: An early investor in Muckrosoft 5: A family investment history that goes back to your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather backing some bizarre new concept called the "wheel" Flaw - Sometimes, it's important to screw things up. Often, so you won't be asked to do it again, but also if you're just `helping out' with a rival's project. High levels of this Liability indicate not only how much damage you can do, but how subtle you can be about it. 1: Drop at least one plate every time you do dishes 2: Spill coffee on important notes 3: Seem to think "Format" is the computer's optimization program 4: Subtly drag your feet until it's -just- too late 5: Bring all your notes with you on your three-week vacation to an inaccessible island in Polynesia, because you're just *that* dedicated. Even the backup copies. Yin-Guises - Since their inception, the Plans have made sure that everyone knows you can trust a doctor. This Liability is how good you are at presenting that image of absolute honesty and...and...other unprofitable "qualities". 1: Can look basically honest, but only by being cold and distant 2: Come across as young, fresh and idealistic 3: Present yourself as experienced and fatherly/motherly 4: Invoke memories of childhood mentors 5: Like Dr. Hyde, you have learned a chemical formula that will actually alter your physical and psychological structure. You can use a Pill point to change to your Mr. Jekyll alter-ego, with no roll needed. Jettison - Sometimes, you need to get rid of something very quickly. Usually it's evidence when the police kicking down your door, but sometimes it's `marital aids' when your mother comes visiting. In either case, this is how you do it. 1: Stuff it under the mattress 2: Throw it out the window, and hope it doesn't hit anyone 3: Flush it down the toilet 4: Stash it under the floorboards or over the ceiling tiles 5: Swallow it, and wash it down with a cool, refreshing, Meth-A-Cola Occlude - Essentially, your ability to fit things together. (Hey, this is Leech: The Medicaid. It's the dental definition, where the teeth fit together. So there.) 1: Insert tab A into slot B 2: Good at jigsaw puzzles 3: Can purchase, without fear, furniture and appliances marked "some assembly required" 4: Past master at even the 3-D jigsaw puzzles 5: Supreme spatial sense, you can measure precisely just by sight Holistics - The interconnectedness of all things. While Occlude shows where things fit physically, Holistics lets you see how what kind of sandwich you order now is going to affect peace talks in the Middle East. This skill is especially useful for explaining certain income tax deductions. 1: Astrology sure has some good points 2: Meteorologists should pay more attention to butterflies in southeast Asia 3: You can follow most conspiracy theories with ease 4: Understand why a Congressional Committee on a critical domestic issue would naturally have to take a trip to the Caribbean as part of their study 5: Can see the direct link between pornography on the internet and crime in the Bronx -ogyism - Psychology. Meteorology. Anthropology. Froggy. Okay, skip the last one...but all the various -ogys they were trying to teach you in college. Leeches with this Liability actually read some of those books, and may still know a couple. For each line in this Gnawledge, just pick one...but it has to end with -ogy. 1: Know one -ogy 2: Know two -ogys 3: Know three -ogys 4: Know four -ogys 5: Know five -ogys The next step, moving right along, is to get into all the ways the Leeches have specially developed to take advantage of the general populace and each other. The first aspect of this is the Kiss-Up Lines. There are ten of these, of which only a couple will be available to you, depending on your Plan; only Midwiffs may choose freely, because they weren't bound through the strict discipline of medical school. You only get three lines to spread among these, which isn't much, but these are used to build your place within Leech society, and everyone has to start at the bottom. The Kiss-Up Lines are: Animosity: Subtle and blatant annoyances and hostile rumourmongering. Auspice: A patron who looks out for you. Celebrity: Being well known both within and without the profession. Domicile: A fancy house can make a major impression on what people think. Attitude: How cocky you can be despite your real station. Obsequate: Working your way into others' good graces. Patients: A pool of loyal patients. Pretense: The art of deception and outright falsehood. Partyin': Throwing parties everyone wants to go to. Pharmacurgy: The skill of prescriptions; very arcane to most Leeches. Don't forget to read up on your Plan before choosing, or you're likely to be sorely disappointed! Secondly, are the Backrubs. These are mostly the little perks of being a Leech. There are ten of these, too, but you get almost twice as many lines for them - specifically, five. It's still not much, but deal with it. When you get your KillerBee points, you can get more then. The Backrubs are: All-Lies: A certain freedom from medical school; your degree is fake. Con Tracts: Involvement in the lucrative field of real estate. Frame: A learned knack for blaming others when you goof. Generosity: Contributions to the right charities can have real paybacks. Nerd: You actually studied, rather than spending eight years in the frathouse. Insurance: Can be vital, especially to the Malpractivans. Genter: Knowing how to act with chivalry, making a good impression. Remorses: You've found out some people's regrets... Tee-Timers: Membership in a country club with a good golf course. STATs: Ability to get things done -now-. And finally, among the three Spur/Glues, you get seven lines to add, over and above the one they each start with. The Spur/Glues are what keeps your character going and holds you together; your base motivations in the field, as it were. These may be used in various circumstances to see if you can overcome the morals your parents tried to ingrain into you to do something that will further your personal ends instead. The three Spur/Glues are: Control Freak: Your desire to be in control of yourself and the situation at all times. Unconscionable: The extent to which your morals didn't stick in the first place. Incorrigible: Fundamental selfishness and ability to just not think of the consequences. Note that these three also help determine your Hum-A-Ditty and Pill Power, so consider them carefully. At the end here, we hit a few things that you don't get to decide for yourself, because that seemed to be getting a little redundant. First is Pill Power. Every Leech carries around a small bottle of brightly colored pills, which can be used to control your character's actions, especially in times of stress. For example, you've just seen both your parents squashed by a limo. The owner gets out, and it's the mayor - who happens to be about to sign a bill that would give lots more money to one of your projects. Rather than bickering and arguing about who killed who, you pop a soft lavender "happy" pill and smooth the situation over, calmly asserting that hey, they were old anyway, you've been really looking forward to that nice china set you're pretty sure they left you in their will, as a doctor you can say confidently your dad's caffeine habit had him one leg in the grave as it was, etc. In effect, whenever you want to do something that's a radical departure from the norm, just pop a pill and go with it - you'll even get a bonus of +1 to all LTs relating to the mood the pill induces for the duration of the `scene', though doing anything against it can be extremely difficult. Oh, yeah, and they work on other people too, if you can get 'em to take it... Note that there are effectively two Pill Power ratings that need to be tracked; your maximum Pill Power, which is how many pills your little bottle can hold, and your current Pill Power, which is how many are in it at the moment. They start out the same, but, lo and behold, will gradually drift apart as you use Pills. Regaining Pills can be difficult, if only because it's wildly illegal, but you can generally be assumed to restock between adventures. Increasing your bottle capacity is an actual character development thing, which I'll get to when I get to...actual character development things. The second thing determined by your Spur/Glues is your Hum-A-Ditty, which is critical for determining how far you've descended into depravity. The further along on the Leech lifestyle you are, the higher your Hum-A-Ditty, representing your ability to relax, reflect on how well you're doing, and, well, hum a ditty. (You can sometimes gauge another Leech's rating by hanging around when he's distracted - most Leeches hum unconsciously, and the cheerfulness of the ditty is a pretty reliable indicator.) Your Control Freak and Unconscionable ratings combined equal your Hum-A-Ditty score. Finally, determined simply by the role of a die (the usual ten sided sort, please, even if you have one of those hundred siders), is your Billfold. Usually carried in the shirt pocket, every Leech has a billfold, with a single, neatly folded hundred dollar bill for every point of Billfold. In a very real sense, this is the Leech's lifeblood. Unfortunately, a standard billfold can only hold up to ten bills; this is why Leeches don't waste them on anything smaller than a hundred. These can be used to perform such superhuman feats as impressing starlets, getting into sold-out concerts, or not having a single point marked off your license when you're pulled over for driving a defective vehicle through a red light the wrong way down a one-way street while intoxicated with three underaged starlets and a yak in the back seat. To utilize Billfold points, simply determine how many you wish to allocate to the endeavor, and roll that many dice against an LT determined by the Storytiller. If you succeed, congratulations! If you fail, well, sorry. If you Splortch...well, flashing that much money around unsavory sorts isn't ALWAYS that bright an idea, but hopefully you'll just wake up in an alley wishing you knew a Leech who could perform real first aid. You can, of course, replenish or even increase your Billfold during play. Whenever you have the opportunity to Bill a patient for something, you can drain their bank account, directly taking up to three `points' on the spot. Many patients can be conned into more, being billable later on. If more than half of a person's total worth is taken in this way, their lifestyle is in serious danger. More than three-fourths gives them little chance to recover, as they become destitute, their insurance provider cuts them off, and they will probably die within a few years...this is considered wasteful by most Leeches, but fun by a few. Animals, of course, are generally useless in this regard, but a veterinarian Leech can sometimes get up to an absolute maximum, including later billing, of five Billfold points from a loving owner. Lost and stolen credit cards are generally good for only one or two points before the owner calls it in. Note that you don't always even have to be in a hospital setting to bill people; you might get lucky, and see someone hit by a truck right in front of you. Just call out, "Everybody, stand back! I'm a doctor! You, check his pulse while I look in his wallet for, uh, ID." Note too that Old Money can be a rich source for Billing. Indeed, some Old Money patients will pay in THOUSAND dollar bills, vastly increasing the total actual points the Leech can hold in his Billfold at one time. Such patients, however, are hard to come by and fiercely contested. Now that everything has been basically decided, you can tweak it a bit with Killer Bee points. Leeches have a tendency to poke around places they probably don't belong (like your abdomen), and at one time or another very likely annoyed a swarm of bees this way. As the bees fly out and sting, of course, your character swells up...a painful process, but you get a slightly bigger character out of it, and happily, you get to decide WHERE you get stung, and therefore, what swells. Isn't that swell? You get stung by fifteen bees; any more, and you'd go into anaphylactic shock. Each of these bees can be used to swell one part of your character...attriboats, liabilities, whatever. Except that some bits are tougher than others, so it takes more stings to build them up. You can add another line to your Kiss-Up Lines with seven stings, while it only takes five to build up an Attriboat. Liabilities and Spur/Glues are a bargain at just two stings per line, and you can finally put those Liabilities past Submarine now (because bees don't like to go underwater anyway). Finally, increasing your Backrubs, Pill power, or even Hum-A-Ditty can be done for just one point a pop, swelling right up. You DO have some baking soda handy, don't you? Oh, and one tiny little last detail: Your Rice Cakes. This is actually a nine-layer health cake. The first layer is Peachy, where you're fine. The second level is Whole Wheat, where you look a little rough but are actually quite good for you. Third is Rice, where you actually are a bit roughed up. Then comes White, which may look okay but isn't really that hot. Then comes Cake, where you're getting softened up and maybe losing some teeth. The sixth is a kind of Jello-Fruit Mix, definitely lumpy and jiggling. After that is a Cream-Filled, but with some pieces cut out already and definitely leaking. Eighth is Toasted, which looks pretty bad and IS that hot. And the final layer is what we call a Shotgun Wedding Cake, wherein you're dead. Some of these layers will keep you from rolling some of your dice, as per the following easy-reference chart: Peachy: Jus' fine. Whole Wheat: Just looks a little rough Rice: -1, Actually is a little rough White: -1, Looks a bit soft Cake: -2, Soft, maybe losing teeth Jello-Fruit Mix: -2, definitely lumpy Cream-Filled: -5, Leaking badly Toasted: Can't actually do anything Shotgun Wedding: Corpse The Plans Well, now that you've looked over all the options and have an idea what you want (and if you're planning to play a Leech, you'd better want it ALL)...it's time for me to lay down the Law. (I love doing this to people..) I warned you that your choice of Plan would limit a few other options. Mostly, it determines what Kiss-Up Lines you might have; each Plan has specialized in just a couple, to hone them to their finest. However, as they also tend to recruit from specific areas of society, it also comes with a whole heap of helpful `suggestions' about your character's personality, what you should look like, how to spend your points, even what kind of radio you listen to...after a while, you may start to wonder why we're still calling it "your" character. You might as well tattoo your Plan on your forehead. But, have no fear! That whole `recruitment' thing is cheap logic, so feel free to ignore it. I do. BUBOHA Nickname:"Bruisers" The Buboha are as nasty a bunch as you're ever likely to meet, on the whole. They got their start as the enforcement wing of the Plan, back in those sad days of yore when doctors occasionally had to provide care to bleeding patients WITHOUT spending an hour running a credit check FIRST. Often, they would find out only later that their patient simply hadn't the money...and in most countries, found also that it was illegal to just re-open their wounds, re-break their limbs, re-infect them with whatever disease may have been cured, etc. So the Buboha came together to visit such difficulties at night, or in an alley somewhere, or sometimes to stop by and have a little `chat' with the patient's loved ones instead. After just one of these visits, most such patients would either find a way to pay up, or flee the country. In more modern times, where civilized countries no longer require doctors to take such risks and put financial considerations before open arteries, the Buboha have felt themselves becoming obsolete. The number of 220-pound doctors named "Guido" has dropped nearly 40% in the last twenty years. As a result, the Plan as a whole has become somewhat fragmented within itself. Some rebel against this, striking out violently. Others have turned their studies of bruises and swellings to more mainstream uses, like tax collection. Appearance: On the job, the Buboha favor leather clothing and ski masks, or at least a stocking over the head. Off duty, it's usually just the leather. Those working in hospitals usually have to dress in the usual hospital uniform, but may still insist on accessories such as body piercings or tattoos. (Tattoos are very popular with the Buboha). A white leather lab coat, though expensive, is very much in vogue. Heaven: The Buboha idea of paradise is Chicago in the 20's. Tommyguns and kneecappers, and the ability to properly take care of those who go into inadvisable debts. Background: Buboha are usually lower-class bruisers who got into med school on a `social engineering' scholarship, or Sicilians, about whom nuff said. Often two or more brothers from the same family go into school together with this attitude, and usually quickly gain a reputation as "pricks". It is a tradition among those of this Plan that if one calls out for help, any others around will gather to kick him while he's down, laughing and jeering, and probably dress him up in women's underwear and make him take out the garbage for a week...but first, they'll deal with whatever outsider was messing with one of their own. Genesis Guidelines: Abutement, Voussoir, and Pier are favored Arch types. Fizzy attriboats usually get a good go ahead, while their most common Backrubs are Con-Tracts, Frame, and Remorses. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Animosity, Auspice, Attitude Weak Kneesies: The Buboha just go weak at the knees for anything leather, especially if it's clothing with a very, very tight fit. Brass is also much sought-after, especially around the knuckles. Many of them have a collection of what they call `paperweights', consisting of things that would be wildly illegal if they called them `weapons'. Organ Donation: This Plan doesn't tend to play well with others. They usually hoard their resources, not even letting others know what they have except in a real emergency. Quote: "Hey, boss, youse wants I should take 'im out back and en-quire as to 'is activities 'ere?" Stereotypes: Car stereos, with concert-sized speakers in the back seat. GANGRENE Nickname:"Greenfingers" The Gangren are the extremophiles of the Leeches. Their formal specialty is in tissue death, but they really shine in the extreme environments. Be it arctic cold, the heat of death valley, or the inside of a nuclear reactor, the Gangren will be there. This often includes high speeds, Hollywood parties, and bungee-jumping, too. They're also the loners of the Plans. As the only ones willing, let alone inclined, to leave their plush offices and cushy labs, the Gangren travel to the outlying regions. This Plan is the most likely to have a member acting as the only doctor for a small town, or even travelling circuit for an entire region. Hence, this Plan extends the conspiracy of health care to places that otherwise might come to rely on the Midwiffs, or similar ruffians inclined to do something that just works well over the latest and greatest new procedure. If the stories are to be believed, this is the oldest of the Clans, and descended directly from the Neanderthals. Of course, if stories are to be believed, a lot of dragons have been slain by third princes, there's a lamp out there that'll grant you three wishes, and Strom Thurmond is an upstanding citizen. So you clearly can't believe stories. They tend to be an irrepressible, irresponsible group, not much given to following directions or staying with a group when something catches their eye. Appearance: The Gangren generally dress to match their surroundings, so one in a snowy area will wear white, while one in a forest will wear a lot of camouflage fatigues. They're better at matching scenery than society, being often quite rusty when it comes to etiquette and mannerisms. Heaven: This Plan's utopia would be a place of no moderation and no compromise, with everything as an all-or-nothing proposition. Background: They often start out from the Peace Corps, or with other such aspirations of bringing health and happiness to the world. Others are just maniacs out for the ever-more-elusive rush. Old Gangren will sponsor young Leeches who show the ability to thrive in extremes - it is to test for this that Finals Week was created. Genesis Guidelines: Abutement, Extrados, and sometimes Intrados are common Arch types. Fizzy or Friendly attriboats are handy. Frequent Backrubs might be Generosity or Insurance. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Partyin', Patients, Animosity Weak Kneesies: The Gangren, as a lot, lust after buxom redheads, but who doesn't? They like to keep tanned and fit, and it's whispered that some of them take, er, animal husbandry a little far. Organ Donation: Gangren are almost always willing to give themselves to science, but are rarely in any condition to be much use by the time they're available. In the meantime, they can be either very generous or absolutely miserly, with, of course, few in betweens. Quote: "Whoa, man, look at this! I've been holding this stick of nitrogen for about a minute now, and my hand's turning -black-. Cool, huh?" Stereotypes: Walkman, with a portable case of their favorite CDs. When they get tired of one, they'll throw it out the window on the side of the road and pick up a new one at the next town. MALPRACTIVAN Nickname:"Mad Scientist" The Malpractivans are the experimental wing of the Plans. They try out the new procedures, new equipment, and new drugs. These latter, especially, they often test on themselves, you know, just to be, uh, safe. The rest of the Plans often -try- to keep the Malpractivan under wraps, but it can be difficult...for one thing, when they have a new miracle cure (or diet plan), they rush out on late night TV and try to sell it themselves first. They're best known for their most notorious members...the alchemists of old, and the ones who performed unsanctioned experiments on human subjects. Some modern Malpractivans refuse to give up the old ways, which harms the status of the Plan as a whole...but then, they also make things that go "boom" very nicely, so the Buboha like 'em. Note that the Malpractivan are very choosy about who they embrace, generally keeping that down to the extremely select group of people who won't run screaming if they try. Many Malpractivans never find someone to hold. Appearance: Bad hair is a common thread. So is forgetting to wear pants. Heaven: A state-of-the-art lab with unlimited test subjects who have no pesky family going to come looking for them. They're inclined to daydream about repealing those pesky consent laws, too. Background: Malpractivans are often the best and the brightest...the ones who get laughed out of proper medical journals for trying to publish the results of alchemical processes, or unsanctioned experiments on human subjects. They get picked up fresh out of school and hurried off to hidden labs, where they're often locked up underground for the first five to ten years without sunlight or lima beans. Genesis Guidelines: Brainy attriboats and Gnawledges are usually Prim, while their Friendlies have a tendency to degenerate. The others try to keep them as Intrados, but many envision themselves as Springers, Keystones, or Imposts. The most common Backrubs are probably Nerd and Genter. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Auspice, Celebrity, Domicile Weak Kneesies: Show them a bottle of something new and bright blue, and they'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. So long as it's a handful of new, bright blue pills, anyway. They also tend to like very shiny sharp things. Organ Donation: Absolutely. Someone else's, to be sure, but they're all for it. Quote: "It's alive! ALIVE, I say! Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that. Would you pass the butter, then?" Stereotypes: Probably something they threw together themselves out of old appliances they broke trying to turn into other things. It'll pick up three local stations and signals from Alpha Centauri. NOSOFEROUS Nickname:"Lepers" This Plan is the least humanitarian of all the Plans. Really, the Nosoferous usually aren't diseased themselves. Not anymore, anyway. I mean, in the old days, maybe. It used to be the best way to get a few choice germs where they could do the most good. Nowadays, you just take a little bottle into the subway, and presto. No one likes to hang out with the Nosoferous. They're kind of...creepy. But they're a critical aspect to the Plan. They ensure that diseases stay around. I mean, those blasted scientists have gone and cured Polio, eradicated smallpox...if the bastards had their way, they'd cure the cold, and put Leeches right out of business. Besides which, you can't count on some dumb germ to carry far enough fast enough to drum up the kind of epidemic that keeps the Dentrue and Trematore in their yachts and mansions. So the Nosoferous do it for them. It's actually quite self sacrificing of them, as they often risk exposure themselves to do the job, and many of the Nosoferous have been disfigured or even killed by potent strains of flu or pox. The Plan was nearly wiped out in their otherwise highly successful plague work, and after all they did seeing to it that people killed off the cats that might have saved their lives, they STILL resent the phrase, "Avoid it like the plague." Bloody ingrates. Note that some particularly enterprising Nosoferous work to ensure that other medical problems keep cropping up, through such means as the tobacco industry, selling other drugs to kids, or helping the auto industry fight silly requirements like seatbelts and airbags that, dammit, *cost* *them* *money*. Admittedly, not very much money, especially considering they just hype it up as a great new thing and charge more for the car, but they sure do cut down on injuries, don't they? Appearance: Hazmat suits are popular, as are the uniforms of various oil companies that might put them in a position to cause a good spill. Many have lost their hair; enough, in fact, that it's believed that male pattern baldness is one of their works, too. Heaven: Oh, anyplace with too many people and too little hygiene. Fleas are good, too. Background: It's hard to find people with the right attitude to join the Nosoferous Plan. It takes a certain...what they like to call "flexible morality," to see the importance of what they do. As a result, they try to lure a lot of people out of government jobs. Genesis Guidelines: Unlike the Malpractivans, Nosoferous are quite happy as Abutements, Intrados or even Pier, while some take an interesting view of the Impost role. Fizzy Attriboats are good if you don't want to pick up every little bug you work with, and Talons are favored. Almost any Backrub is likely. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Animosity, Attitude, Obsequate Weak Kneesies: Obviously, they love a new strain of influenza. Anything else that'll bring a long line of people to the doctor's office is good, too...war, famine, heatwave, whatever. For themselves, however, they'll fight for holocaust survival gear...gas masks, bomb shelters, that sort of thing. Organ Donation: They're very giving types, in a certain sense, they just don't tend to give anything anyone WANTS. Quote: "'Ere, now, boy, doncher want some candy? Eh? 'Atsa good lad. An' remember what I told yer 'bout washin' yer hands, eh? Rub the skin right off, doin' that ever' night, you will. Not more'n once a week's safe. And quit wearin' them toothies down with that silly brush, neh?" Stereotypes: The most fashionable thing among Nosoferous right now is an old phonogram. Go figure. TORPORADOR Nickname:"Sleepers" The Torporador excel in anesthesia, and deal with patients in a coma. Comatose patients are just great. Stick an IV in 'em and send their family a bill every week. Once the family stops visiting, the nurses don't even have to waste time on them anymore. Heck, you can pretty much dump the so-called patient out with the trash and put a mannequin in the bed...who's going to know? The Torporador tend to be rather lazy themselves, looking for the most effect from the least work. They're still all abuzz over the invention of the TV remote. If they have to do anything more than straight anesthesia, they usually have their nurse handle everything and then come by afterwards to `check up' on the work. Of all the Plans, they're probably the least likely to sample their own wares. Opium dens are all well and good, but anything else is too much work. They can't fathom what it is about this new "non-drowsy formula" rage. Puh-leeze. Appearance: Few Torporador really care. Unbrushed hair and untucked shirts are the norm. Mismatched socks are common, too. Many develop a kind of lazy saunter that looks very `cool', though. Heaven: Ah, for a soft, feathery bed with a warm blanket and fluffy pillows. A 200" screen TV with cable would be a nice touch, too, and someone to peel grapes... Background: Torporador are most often the rich kids of the Leech profession; the ones who got into med school due to their parents' influence, got THROUGH med school on their parents' influence, and will probably coast on that for some time to come. Genesis Guidelines: Common Arch types include Voussoir, Keystone, and Extrados. Occasionally Springers, when they can use that to make other people do all the work. Friendly Attriboats are good to keep people from killing them. Backrubs are likely to include Frame, Insurance, and certainly Genter. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Patients, Domicile, Celebrity Weak Kneesies: Pretty baubles, get rich quick schemes, and new energy-saving gadgets are the best ways to turn off the average Torporador's mind and get him to go along without thinking. Organ Donation: Hey, once you're dead, who cares, right? Let the vultures have it. The Torporador can be very giving of things they're not using anymore. Quote: "Hey, look, I've got the cable, track lighting, stereo, and microwave all patched in to this one remote. Now, um, where'd it go?" Stereotypes: Whole systems with radio, 8-track, reel-to-reel, record player, tape deck, CD player, DVD player...just as long as it's all automated and easy to use. Or if you have servants to do it. A live jazz band is cool, too. TREMATORE Nickname:"Tapeworms" The Trematore claim to best understand the deep mysteries of the Leeches, because they study and embody parasitism in all its forms. They hold themselves somewhat aloof from the others, and force the rest to send patients to the Trematore when they want to use any medication stronger than placebo strength. In theory, it should be possible for anyone to grasp the mysteries of pharmacology, but through a complicated system of abbreviations and bad handwriting, the Trematore keep their secrets close. In this manner, they thrive off the Leech community in much the same way that Leeches thrive off of society. The Trematore are an odd lot indeed. Specifically, there were originally three of them, and ever since, they've always been careful to induct members in pairs...thereby maintaining an odd total. There are currently 3,457,013 registered members of the Trematore, and the registry has never, in their entire history, ended with an even number. Even should a member die, his name isn't removed until either another has also passed on, or a replacement has been found. No one knows why this is. Appearance: The Trematore take pains to be the most professional looking. Many laymen don't consider them exactly part of the medical community, and as a backlash to this, they're the most likely to wear a white coat at all times. Heaven: Most Trematore long for a world in which they can put more of their wares in the water supply, for the betterment of all. Background: Only the most analytical and disciplined of students are chosen for the Trematore. It must be someone who can both learn the arcane art of prescription medication, yet someone who can be trusted to keep the faith and not tell anyone else. They're usually already disliked by their fellow students as snobbish know-it-alls, and the Trematore masters do nothing to dissuade this image. Genesis Guidelines: Abutement and Springers are common, as are Imposts who offer fellow Leeches discounts on quality stimulants. Brainy and Friendly attriboats are sought after, along with Skulls or Gnawledges. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Pretense, Partyin', Pharmacurgy Weak Kneesies: It's a deeply held secret, but what really makes the Trematore teary-eyed is to be included in the parties. Really, they just want to be accepted. 'Course, they'd never admit that. Organ Donation: Pfaugh. Quote: "Well, yes, it would seem that ten milligrams of dextromethadrone would do what you need, but I'd actually recommend six furlongs of alphahydrocordazone and a dram of phenyleneethylmethamphetaminaphin hydroxylate." Stereotypes: They usually have easy listening music piped in to their stores, and some extend this practice to their homes, or spend hours riding up and down in elevators. DENTRUE Nickname:"Drill Sergeants" The Dentrue are most often seen as dentists, in which capacity they believe strongly in good taste and healthy teeth. Admittedly, that fluoride gunk they call "cherry flavored" isn't, but at least they tried. They're less often seen, but more often present, as the secret masters of Leechdom, in the administration halls. When asked what the connection is, they just give one of their patented (literally) smiles and explain that getting funding for their hospital is like pulling teeth. While the Malpractivans have a few definite horror stories, the Dentrue are more commonly known as sadists and control freaks. It doesn't do to cross them, because sooner or later, everyone goes under their drills. Knowing this impetus full well, they have a tendency to casually refer to drilling when they don't feel they're getting the cooperation they need. Dropping out-of-context comments about the oil industry, for example, is a secret signal to other Leeches to get cracking. Appearance: The Dentrue are the most business like of the Plans, usually foregoing a traditional doctors outfit for something more like a tailored suit. They're almost invariably immaculate; hair combed, tie straight, clothes ironed. Many see this as just another sign of their anal retentive nature. Heaven: Nothing pretentious. Just a nice, corner office, on the top floor, and the Dentrue are happy. A large oak desk isn't too much to ask. Preferably with nothing on it to mar the perfection of its surface. Background: They're the most nepotistic of the Plans; many Dentrue are related to other, senior Dentrue. To combat this impression without having to actually give up the reality, they do little to aid one another after sponsoring their relatives into the Plan. Genesis Guidelines: Springer, Pier, Impost, and Intrados are the common Arch types. Brainy Attriboats are probably the most common...Friendly would be awfully useful, but just doesn't seem to happen much. Backrubs could be anything, but they're thought of for Tee-Timers and STATs. Plan Kiss-Up Lines: Domicile, Obsequate, Pretense Weak Kneesies: Lollipops. Oh, they know it's bad for you, but there hasn't been a Dentrue born who wasn't a sucker for a sucker. Organ Donation: Absolutely. To a man. They do it to lead by example, and, of course, because the accounting all works out better. Quote: "Ah ha, ha. Indeed. Quite amusing. Well, now that we have this little display of wit out of our systems, perhaps you could aid Dr. Taltos in his studies? You know the drill, I'm sure." Stereotypes: State-of-the-art, only. When CDs came out, most of the Dentrue threw away their tape players. The whole system is probably set into the wall, hidden behind oak paneling, just like the liquor cabinet. MIDWIFFS don't get a write-up, because the cheap recruitment logic doesn't apply. Make up whatever you want, pick whatever Kiss-Up Lines you want, and live with the consequences. Expanding on the Options Now that you've had a chance to look over what you can have, I suppose you might want to know more about what it really MEANS. Those little one-line descriptions the Backrubs and Kiss-Up Lines get up front is nice enough as far as it goes, but you want to know what it MEANS. Greedy, greedy. Well, you'll make a fine Leech, then. The Kiss-Up Lines were first back there, so they'll go first here. They take some time, so you may just want to read the ones you actually can have. Or you may want to read up on everyone else, so when one of the other players tries to do something, you can jump in and say, "Hey, YOU can't do that! Storytiller, tell him he can't do that!" Storytillers love that sort of thing. ANIMOSITY: Animosity concerns your basic enmity and hatred of all mankind. It sums up your repressed hopes and fears, your fundamental misanthropy, and your will to take it out on anyone who gets in your way. While Leeches who don't have this Kiss-Up Line may still be offensive animals, they're usually not as comfortable with it. Many Leeches with this Kiss Up Line don't realize it. They think it's just their unique personality, and consider other people simple-minded creatures for taking them so literally. Long of the Feast - While most dinner guests aren't intelligent enough to be worthy of any long discourse, it can be worth it when you can use it to overstay your welcome. Trapping some poor sod in a corner and watching them squirm, or seeing how long it takes for your Host or Hostess to finally break down and make up some story about having a 4:30am flight to catch the next day, are favorite pastimes for Leeches with this Kiss-Up Line. The player should role Hi + Lodge (or any other set that corresponds with their beastly behavior) to determine how long they can stretch it before getting thrown out, at one hour per success. Note that only after the Leeches Animosity rating has increased is there a chance that they'll be invited back to the same place. Call of the Child -- Your petty cruelty has grown so childish now that you may throw a serious temper tantrum, complete with screaming, crying, throwing rare and valuable breakables, and so forth. Role Urrrgh + Nervous Tics (or Ugh + Flaw, if you're really trying to break things). The sound will carry farther in the relative peace of the wilderness, so it's less effective in a big city. 1 Success: You can be heard by anyone within about a city block/half a mile 2 Successes: Anyone within 2 blocks/one mile gets an earful 3 Successes: Disturb 5 city blocks or five country miles 4 Successes: Rattle the windows half a mile away, or scare the wildlife 7 miles away 5 Successes: Everyone in a full mile, or ten miles away in less civilized climes Street Whispers --- While the Call of the Child is an effective way of getting attention, sometimes it's better to vent your hatred of your fellow man in ways less traceable to you. With Street Whispers, the Leech has learned to simply drop a comment in the presence of, say, an orderly, without even looking at them, as if you were just muttering to yourself and didn't even realize they were there or that you were speaking aloud. Note, however, that the intended rumour can't be too complex, or it will be too much forgotten to pass on, or too much changed before it can spread. Hence, "I can't believe Billy slept with John's wife" is good, while, "I can't believe Billy was involved with the assassination of JFK, by way of the aliens from Area 51, who transported him through time using the secret pyramids at the Bermuda Triangle and implanted little nanotech robots created by the CIA, circa 2150, that controlled his actions until their circuitry was disrupted when he fell threw the temporal wormhole... or, were they? Hmm..." As tempting as it may be to bring into people's minds the insidious worry that Billy might still be controlled by aliens, something that bulky just isn't going to go anywhere. The simple rumors, however, can be deeply implanted, so that the persist for some time, perhaps even growing stronger in the face of Billy's increasingly red-faced protestations. The player should roll Hmmm + Intimation against an LT of 4, though the LT may vary by circumstances (e.g. Billy's the nephew of the head of the AMA {Auspice rating of 7}, so no one really wants to risk annoying him.) The chart below should suggest how fast and pervasively the rumor will spread: 1 Success: Gets around the office within a couple months 2 Successes: Includes the target's social circle in just over a month 3 Successes: Reaches their superior/wife/whatever in a few weeks 4 Successes: Complete strangers are giving them funny looks by the end of the week 5 Successes: Tomorrow's headline on a nationally syndicated newspaper Sharing of Spites ---- Starts with inviting someone else to a bar or similar setting, to share a few drinks. The Leech will spend the time looking into their eyes and muttering, ranting, or detailing with cold logic (depending on the individual) why the world is as bad as it is. When they're done, the subject will share the Leech's general animosity towards the world at large, though they won't actually get any points in Animosity. The trouble, of course, is in not getting too carried away yourself. Leeches using this Kiss-Up Line tend to froth at the mouth like a rabid animal, waving their arms and glaring about them. After a particularly exciting rant, the Leech must roll Oh-Ho + Subtle-Fugue to set their very good points out of their mind and keep focused on more important goals than tearing the curtains down and screaming out the window. On the plus side, unless the subject has some special ability themselves to resist, you just roll Hmmm + Flaw to see how long their new sullen mood lasts. 1 Success: Until they sober up 2 Successes: Until the hangover goes away 3 Successes: At least a full day 4 Successes: Up to a week 5 Successes: You've truly converted a new misanthrope to the cause. Congratulations. The Raving Greased ----- By the time a Leech has built up *this much* Animosity, they have attained an indisputable understanding of humanity and society's intrinsic flaws. Armed with this knowledge, and probably some home-made pamphlets explaining it all, the Leech can really cut loose and go wild. Note however that to use this Kiss-Up Line in public requires a Hum-a-Ditty of less than 8; if you're at 8 or higher, you have too much to lose. Too much invested in the system you despise. Don't you just HATE that? If you're at 7 or lower, however, print out a few hundred of your pamphlets and by all means, hit the street corners! Roll your Eureka + S'truth and try to whip up a mob. You can actually make the roll even if you are at 8 or higher, but you'll have to get a bunch of successes off the bat for it to mean anything. If your roll succeeds at all, you can start a riot, according to the following chart: 1 Success: You whip up a major frenzy that does hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage, but in your crazed state, you do it in front of a friend or police officer who can identify you later as the instigator. (As in, "See ya later, instigator!") 2 Successes: They go crazy, but trample you in their hurry. You're badly battered (lose 2 Rice Cake levels) and can't move very quickly for the rest of the day. 3 Successes: It just works 4 Successes: Not only are you successful, but if you have too high a Hum-A-Ditty and were trying this anyway, with this many successes you can spend a Billfold point to hire some shady character with unsightly stubble to do it for you. 5 Successes: You not only got a shady character with unsightly stubble to do it for you, but you were so convincing he went right out and did it for free. AUSPICE: This Kiss-Up Line entails a patron in a position to actually help you out. Exactly who and what they are is up to the Storytiller; the character generally won't know. Auspice patrons are usually quite secretive. Possibilities include higher level Leeches, other health officials, politicians, mafia dons, high-powered attorneys, etc. Exactly what they are will affect exactly what they CAN do for you; what they WILL do, and how easily you can contact them, depends on how well you Kiss Up to them. High-End Signage - After the secret signal of sharpening five pencils, you can mail to your hidden patron a form or letter you'd like signed, and if it's fairly reasonable, they'll probably do it. It can take anywhere from one to several weeks; first it has to wend its way through the postal system. Then it gets lost on their desk. Finally they find it, look it over, and sign it. Then it gets lost on their secretary's desk. Eventually it falls into the trash bin and gets thrown out. Someone digging through the trash looking for computer passwords happens across the stamped, addressed envelope, and out of a sense of common human decency, drops it in the mail. Then it has to wend its way through the postal system again before you finally get it. When you do have it, however, waving it in front of anyone who recognizes your patron's authority lets you double your Hi or Hmmm scores for purposes of pushing them around. Additionally, your patron may occasionally send you warnings of such dangers as upcoming budget cuts. These premonitions are usually dictated to the secretary, who only half-knows shorthand and who has a rather nasty sense of humor, so they're often confusing. However, they can still be quite handy. By the way, don't think you'll be finding out who they are from this. Leeches usually have pretty bad handwriting, but secret patrons put them all to shame. Oral Reception -- You still haven't seen your patron, but you can talk to them directly now. The biggest drawback to this method is that it's hard to judge their mood over the phones and voice distorters; the Storytiller should secretly roll an Oh-Ho + Derive with an LT of 3 to see if the character can guess right as to how their patron is feeling. If the roll botches, tell them something completely off and let them really mess up their request and annoy their benefactor for weeks to come. It can still take a while to get through; first you dial in to the automated system. After about five minutes spent working your way through that, you can get to their secretary, who puts you on hold. Eventually she'll ring you through, presuming she doesn't come back to claim your patron is out at lunch, and after a few rings, they'll actually answer. Usually. Once you have them, try not to take up too much of their time, but they might be willing to talk to someone who's giving you trouble to kind of smooth matters over. The Spirited Torch --- At this point, your patron *really* likes you. You'll know a little more about them, too...such things as their race, sex, and age, and you're better at gauging their emotions (Your LT on phone calls with them is now only 5.) Furthermore, your letters now only take a couple of days there and back, as you can send them FedUp, you're listed on the secretary's Priority list, and they FedUp them right back to you. Additionally, since they like you so much, your benefactor will not only support your actions, but actively praise you personally. This can extend to job recommendations, sending their secretary in as a character witness at you trial, and otherwise letting people know that you're one of their favorites. Roll Hi + Sir Viva!, with the LT depending on the age and impressionability of the people you want your boss to impress for you. The number of successes impacts how strong the praise is. Telephony ---- When you attain this stage of Auspice, your backer gives you a special cell phone. It has one button. It calls them, and that's it. You'll ring right to them, any time of day or night. If you call late at night, however, your boss is likely to be rather incoherent; the Storytiller should play this out with such responses as, "Huh? Whaa? Whazz'r you callin' 'ere for, this tim'a nigh'? Bett'r be damimp'rtant, 'sall I gottasay." As is apparent, someone just roused from bed at 3:00 am can be quite difficult to understand. If it ISN'T important, the phone will self destruct, and your Auspice rating immediately reverts to Submarine. Astute Protection - When a Leech has this level of Auspice, their patron has expanded their consciousness to include you. You can travel anywhere on the Earth, and they'll still know generally where you are and what's going on. If you arrange to go to the Moon, they'll probably watch it on the news. Even if you still don't actually know who they are (and by now, you actually might), it's usually known at this point that Auspice patrons are motionless, in a state of torpitude, sustained by a silver spoon. However, their reach, through agents and technology, is extensive and powerful. Catastrophes you're not even aware of may be averted. In game terms, whenever something's moving through the system (whatever system your patron has influence over) that might harm you, the Storytiller should roll your Auspice, with an LT depending on the secrecy of the danger. Depending on how many successes you get, your patron may avert some or all of the trouble, whether by actually stopping it or simply by diverting it to someone else. When two people each have Astute Protection, their patrons may clash. In this instance, they'll probably sense each other's machinations and get to talking it over instead. How this turns out is entirely up to the Storytiller, but if it doesn't matter too much or you just want to use the dice for it, roll each character's Hi + Auspice to determine which is, at that moment, the more important to their respective patron. If it comes out equal, both patrons will probably withdraw and let things take their natural course. If one gets more Successes than the other, subtract the loser's Successes from the winner's and apply the remainder towards averting trouble for the winner's protege. CELEBRITY: Some Leeches get more famous than most, attracting a circle of fans and perhaps even becoming household names. The methods for this vary. Some publish a book and do the talk show thing, some do guest appearances on Dr. Skinn: Medicine Babe or Duckie Howitzer, M.D., while others go on murder sprees. However they do it, your Celebrity rating can be added to your Hoo-Baby in dealing with anyone who might recognize you. If someone doesn't who you'd like to, and you're so crass as to point it out, make a roll of their Oh-Ho plus your Celebrity to see if they can place you. Furthermore, you can, at any time, spend Billfold points to attract a number of groupies, one for each Billfold spent up to a maximum of your Celebrity rating. These groupies can perform additional tasks for you, though nothing terribly complicated. Fetching coffee, standing in the way of assailants, or swooning are all good suggestions. However, there is a limit to this effect, simply because even groupies will only take so much stress. You may gain Hoo-Baby + Celebrity up to a total rating of 10, but to go any higher than that would require buying future supplements. DOMICILE: This one's easy. If you have this Kiss-Up Line, you have your own house. This means you can invite the boss, chicks, or other people you might want to influence over, ply them with dinner, and hopefully influence their opinions of you. Exactly how cool a house you own is, of course, determined by how much of a Kiss-Up it is for you. Commune - It's not, strictly speaking, YOUR house. You share it with at least a dozen other people, at least half of whom are hippies. Clearing your housemates out when you have an important meeting can be difficult, because they only seem to understand simple, one-word statements. Two words, and you've exceeded their attention span. Mass Marketize -- You live in a tract home. It obviously COST a lot of money, but it's still a fairly small house with no actual yard or privacy, and you always pull into your neighbor's driveway, because they all look exactly alike. Doing anything to make yours look different would be a breach of contract. You can't even decorate the inside the way you want. But, boy, are you paying for the privilege, and for some people, that's enough. You can, however, try to plant flowers in the windows. The number of successes determines what you get. 1 Success: Ragweed and poison oak 2 Successes: Dandelions 3 Successes: Marigolds, petunias, daisies, etc. 4 Successes: Roses, or something that just doesn't match your local climate 5 Successes: A strange and unusual plant in your window that people won't be able to help but notice The Forge to Fully Mine --- A custom designed and built house. It may not LOOK like much more than an ordinary house, but you can have secret rooms, or sliding bookshelves, or stairways that lead to blank walls, and all the shelves are just right for your height. If you want anything really special, a Domicile + Antiquity or Domicile + Tech-Parity roll may be required, of course. Air Conditioning ---- Your house is entirely comfort-controlled. Effective temperature control, comfortable furniture, good lighting, the works. It's just a nice place to be. So nice, in fact, that people actually want to be there. Want to be there enough that while they are there, you can get them to do things for you so that they don't have to leave just yet. Roll your Hmmm or Hi + Inertness and ask them to get you a drink while they're up, toss you the remote control, or bark like a dog. 1 Success: The subject starts to do as you request, but is so comfortable they get distracted and forget. 2 Successes: They'll do it as long as it's not too weird 3 Successes: Anything that's not actually a crime against Nature, but you'd be surprised how annoying that little restriction can get 4 Successes: You can ask anything not immediately life threatening, really, though they may get a roll to resist 5 Successes: Anything. Anything at all. Bring out the comfy chair... Posh Mansion ----- More than thirty rooms. Gleaming white marble floors. Expensive carpets. Stained glass windows. An indoor pool. Heck, you make it up...it's your dream house. The only problem is with the servants: It takes time to get them working smoothly. In essence, once a day the Leech rolls Hmmm + Fine Dance to see that the various maids, butlers, cooks, etc. are properly choreographed. If it's a success, everything's fine; if not, a Billfold point must be spent to keep everyone in line. ATTITUDE: This Kiss-Up Line gives a Leech great resistance to anything that might hurt their self-image. The Leech with an Attitude just walks around like they own the world, and brush off any evidence to the contrary. You can add your Attitude to any Hi or Hmmm roll that entails being a jerk to someone or passing yourself off as bigger than you are. Attitude provides another special benefit to Leeches who possess it: they can wear sunglasses without looking like dorks. This is harder than it may sound for people in the medical profession, but if you have this Kiss-Up Line, you may roll Attitude + Hoo-Baby on first entering an area to come off as just *incredibly* cool and sexy. Exact effects are up to the Storytiller and how many successes you get. If your first attempt is a simple failure, you may roll Attitude + Whee at any time by taking *off* your sunglasses in a suave manner, but if you fail here the frames get tangled in your hair and you yank a bunch out. However, there is a limit to this effect, simply because other people will only take so much stress. You may gain Hi + Attitude up to a total rating of 10, but to go any higher than that would require buying future supplements. OBSEQUATE: Obsequate is in many ways the epitome of the Kiss-Up Lines. It is, in truth, your ability to kiss up. This comes so naturally within the hierarchy of the Leeches that those who have this Kiss-Up Line can continue doing it indefinitely, long past the point where a normal person would rebel and accept a fast-food job rather than have to put up with any more of their bosses crap. Often, no roll is even needed; such blatant displays of humility are enough to convince most people that you're definitely in their camp without any doubt. If Obsequate is used against the patron of another Leech's Auspice, an opposed roll must be made (Lodge + Auspice vs. Me, Too + Obsequate). If you win, the other Leech's superior is overcome by your flattery and goes along with your request. Be warned, however, that children often see through Obsequate, and have been known to make such rude comments as, "Mommy, why is his nose so brown?" Bloke of Sho' Does - Your skills at Obsequating are still highly undeveloped, but you're good at building someone else's ideas up in their own mind. Once a suggestion has been made, you can come up with some explanation (no matter how frail) as to how this is simply the most brilliant idea ever. Since they probably already like the idea, this is relatively easy as long as you get moving on it quickly; if it takes too long, or if someone else points out that it's a dumb idea, everything falls apart. So long as the basic criteria are met, however, no roll needs to be made; people WANT to hear how smart they are. (Go ahead. Tell me how true that is.) Varnish -- The fine art of the shoe-shine. Your power has now advanced to the point where even in front of a large group of witnesses, you can suddenly vanish under the table and start licking someone's shoes. Even if you're completely out in the open, it'll take most people a moment to realize where you've gone as you suddenly drop into a crouch. Most people, on witnessing such a craven display, are stunned with disbelief for a moment. Shoes aren't even the only thing it can work for; if you don't mind brushing extensively, this can be great for keeping the bathtub clean or bringing the kitchen floor to a shine. It's also quite useful for getting behind an opponent in combat. *ahem* I'm sure you can think of many other uses on your own, but ultimately, this is a family game. Another aspect of this power is to make people forget anything else that was going on at the time. The sight of a respected doctor suddenly dropping to his knees in obeisance tends to have that effect. Roll Hoo-Baby + Subtle-Fugue against their Oh-Ho + S'Truth (or whatever strikes the Storytiller as appropriate); if you succeed, all they'll remember is you groveling. However, you'll want to leave immediately, and most restaurants and country clubs won't want to see you again; Splortches on this roll have been known to damage Tee-Timer or Lodge ratings. Rose Scented Feces --- This pungent ability allows you to espouse utterly heartfelt views that vary wildly according to the company you keep. A Leech with this Kiss-Up Line who had sunk so low as to go into politics could probably run convincingly on two or more tickets simultaneously. The player should roll Hmmm + Yin-Guises to see how well they've projected their supposed outlook. 1 Success: You sound like you read about the idea in a magazine or something, but don't really know what you're talking about. 2 Successes: You come across as convinced, but if you espouse more than one view in the same setting (i.e. the democratic mayor and a republican senator are at the same party, and you're trying to hit both of them up), someone will notice and remember. 3 Successes: You successfully present yourself as what you want them to think you are. 4 Successes: You're not only convinced, but convincing. Not only can you debate the points well enough to potentially bring others over to "your" side, but no one will remember later that you used to feel any other way. 5 Successes: As with four, but at the slightest hint that the person you're trying to impress actually feels differently than you thought they did, you can change your arguments without having to re-roll. Unsought Presents ---- You're now so good at truckling that you can guess things your target might like, and just go out and get them. Whether you sign these or just leave them as a secret admirer, this is a great way to influence people's minds; they won't be able to forget about you. If you just want to leave flowers or something, you can do that automatically. If you want to give more expensive gifts like big-screen TVs or small countries, it will probably cost Billfold points. Karaoking the Blathering ----- This incredibly manipulative power lets you use singing to devastating effect. By rolling Hi + Muzak, you can serenade your target with songs calculated to bring up a particular emotion; treat this as though you'd given them a Pill, as your singing affects their mood for the next hour or so. Of course, this is likely to have some effect on anyone who can hear you, with your one roll applying to anyone in easy listening range. PATIENTS: This Kiss-Up Line simply represents a regular clientele. These don't actually translate to extra Billfold points, because the steady income they generate is already factored into your cost of living. However, because you don't have to spend so much time scrambling to lure suckers in, you get more time to read the newspapers or think about the situation; hence, your Patients rating can be added to any Aha roll or any roll to project calm or a sense of responsibility. There is a limit to this, however, because your secretary can only juggle so much stress. You may gain Aha + Patients up to a total rating of 10, but to go any higher than that would require buying future supplements. (Think there's a pattern here? Try Amber.) PRETENSE: Something about you just comes across as incredibly glamorous. This Kiss-Up line isn't a matter of having power or influence...it's a matter of LOOKING like you have power and influence. Note that it's a great improvement over the Sure-Are-Classy Liability in that with Sure-Are-Classy, YOU just think you're superior. With Pretense, you can convince other people, too. Aww - A Leech with the Pretense Kiss-Up Line invariably feels a condescending pity for everyone around them. Essentially, when someone around you expresses pride in an accomplishment or goes whining about their problems, you can react with such a patronizing attitude that even if they don't see their relative insignificance, everyone else around will. Have the player roll Hmmm + Yin-Guises as they express their `deep concern'. The other person may resist if they have anything good to roll for it. Each success up on the Leeches side reduces by one the number of people willing to listen to the whiner/gloater. What's more, this can be used over and over on successive turns until everyone's gone back to work. On a Splortch, it backfires, and they not only get pity/praise for whatever they're blathering about, but more people join in to give you dirty looks for being such a "bad sport". Enhancement -- Using Enhancement, the Leech can make what they DO do look even better. This can mean almost anything, from gluing sequins to your clothes to retelling the story about how you accidentally spilled coffee on a would-be bank robber's clothes in a manner that makes you sound positively heroic. The big limit is that there has to be SOME genuine basis to build up, and you have to actively play it, which means it only effects the people you point it out to. The smaller limit is that after a while, the sequins fall off, or the real story gets out...there's just no way to avoid it. What's more, the people you were showing off to will tend to think a bit worse of you for it if they're around for the revelations. Roll your Hoo-Baby + S'Truth to see how long the story lasts, with each success stepping up the unit of time (hour to day to week to month to year to century to millennium to eon, if you get eight successes.) Implysion by Artifaction --- With this power, the Leech can equip themselves with a few accoutrements that will have people making up their OWN stories about why you're so cool. This saves you from the backlash of Enhancement, since YOU can't help it if people jump to conclusions. So you have a photograph signed by the President in your office, and have been overheard starting phonecalls off with, "Hey, Billyboy! How's the Al-meister?" You never SAID you were close friends, did you? Just set a few props up and roll Aha + either Antiquity or Tech-Parity, depending on your choice of props. Your number of successes will be added to the Oh-Ho + Holistics (or otherwise appropriate) roll that everyone else who comes around will have to make; if they succeed, they make the connection you wanted them to. If someone doesn't, you can try using Billfold points to win them over anyway. Summit ---- At this level, you will be admired from afar. People from all around will have heard of you, and while no one will be quite sure what exactly it is that you DO, they'll know they recognize your name from somewhere, so surely it's something important? This can come into play whenever you're dealing with someone who doesn't actually know you. People who've only seen you from across the room may still count, but those close to you - friends and co-workers - know better. When you want to use it, roll your Hi + Cheat-or-Gyp. Normally the LT is 5, but if it's not a complete stranger, it drops to 3. If you've fooled them before, it's six, but if you've ever tried and failed, it's 1. If the Sun is in Leo and the moon is waxing, it's 4 regardless of these other factors. The number of successes you get indicates just how big they think you are; with one success, they recognize the name but don't have any real associations, while with five, they're half convinced you own the company they work for. How they actually react is still subject to individual variance, i.e. Storytiller cruelty. Surely You Jesty - This incredibly defective power is much prized by those who have it, because it's capable of deflecting almost any attempt to harm or degrade the Leech who makes good use of it. A Leech with Surely You Jesty is almost universally respected and feared. Almost no one would even think to confront them about anything (raise two illegitimate children at no cost). If anyone DOES, you sneer down your nose at them and say bitingly, "You MUST be joking." They'll have to roll something reasonable against an LT of ten minus your Hi + Sure-Are-Classy; unless they get at least one success, they have to back down. (Or pop a Pill to get over it.) This power is yet another reason the Trematore tend to be the dominant partner in relationships. PARTYIN': This is the ability of a Leech to transform a group of people into a mass of writhing, twisting flesh making animalistic noises. No roll needs to be made; you just set out the food, and people will show up to eat it within a couple of turns. However, if you want it to be remembered as a really GOOD party, one Billfold point must be spent for the beginning of the party (for food, streamers, music, etc.), and another at the end (for Disturbing the Peace fines, paying the bouncers, and covering the musician's bar tabs. Note: If you hired the Blues Brothers, you must spend TWO Billfold points at the end of the party.) Inviting your superiors to a good party is not only a way to ingratiate yourself, but potentially also to gather blackmail material. Those attending such parties have a tendency to take on odd traits for the duration, such as large pupils or an uncontrollable shaking. Bloodshot eyes and a hoarse voice can persist for a couple of days after. Stream of Red Pills - These parties, fueled by bowls filled with red pills, can be very eerie. The pills (NOT, obviously, from your personal Pill stash, and not as high quality) give the attendees a rosy glow. Not literally, no; they just feel laid back, and words like "dude" and "groovy" start cropping up in the conversation. The major drawback to these parties is that while everyone gets along like lifelong friends while it's happening, nobody remembers anything the next day. Wife's 'Slaws -- Either your wife or your father's wife (allegedly your mother) makes the BEST gol danged cole slaw in these here parts. Add to that some mashed taters, some baked beans, a couple cows worth of meat on the grill, and your personal homebrew "ginger beer", and you've got a backyard barbecue that'll draw 'em in from miles around. These are rather laid-back parties that will present you to good advantage as a down to earth good-ol'-boy. Hearth Mauled --- Despised and feared by those with the Domicile Kiss-Up line, Hearth Mauled Parties have cost countless millions in property damage and fines over the years. Open up the booze, crank up the music, let your hair down, and cut loose. These parties not only will rarely impress your superiors, they will frequently get you banned from entire states. However, they're the best cover Leeches know for many deeds that must be kept secret...their major advantage is that nobody remembers anything the next day. Meadow of the Feast ---- At this level, you can throw the equivalent of a convention or a southern revival...i.e. you take over an entire area (a park, a hotel, whatever) for several days of good food and bad fun. These Parties are excellent for impressing an entire *class* of people; just pick your target audience and aim the party at them. For example, host the Democratic National Convention, or a Baptist Revival, or a Gay Pride March...the possibilities are endless, and do include an Esteemed Gathering of Medical Personnel. List ----- To associate with such legendary folk as the mayor, police chief, or local celebrities, this power is excellent. Many Leeches with this ability have described their problems turning to mist with the influence of such august personalities. With this ability, you have a select guest List that includes only the most popular and influential people in the region, to which you can add some people who might like to think they're among the most popular and influential people in the region, and who might indeed have a fair amount of influence over you personally. Moreover, as the host, you can't be thrown out of the party, and by being there, you quietly give the impression that you belong among such people. Plus, you can refer to them by their first names for a week, though affectionate nicknames are still out. PHARMACURGY: Note: Pharmacurgy is the most complicated of all the Kiss-Up Lines, so I was sore tempted to ignore it until I got around to putting it in a later supplement. Just thank your lucky stars it got in at all. The mystic arts of Pharmacurgy are held close secret by the Trematore, rarely practiced by any other Leech. In truth, when another Leech writes a supposed `prescription', they're just signing their secret name and jotting down a quick code as to your symptoms; when you take this to your local Trematore pharmacurgist, he looks at it and prescribes something that'll cover over your symptoms and perpetuate the myth. It's probably important to not that having Pharmacurgy entails not just knowing the art, but having some kind of shop of your own. Sometimes it's just a little booth at a mall, while for others it's a real corner store all to yourself. Don't sweat it too much; usually it's staffed by teenagers working for under minimum wage with an "employee discount" of +20%. (Public education is great. These kids go cross-eyed at the thought of multiplying percentiles, so they never even notice that they're actually paying more than the regular customers.) Some kind Pharmacurgists pay even less by offering "lunch" as part of the pay, to be made up of a reasonable selection of the chips, hard candies, and lip gloss offered at the counter. Fergit-You-Alls So secretive are the Trematore that even at the first level of Pharmacurgy, they won't teach you a blasted thing. No, first the higher-level masters of Pharmacurgy make you lay a "groundwork" for "understanding" the "deep mysteries" of the "hidden arts". This usually seems to entail things like painting their houses, waxing their cars, and drinking a twelve pack of beer in under five minutes while a group of them watches and chants "chug it". This treatment tends to make Destroyer level Pharmacurgists rather bitter as they cling to the few scraps they're thrown. All you have access to at this point are common, over-the-counter things that, really, anyone could do, though the Pharmacurgists learn to do them particularly effectively. When a Leech first gains Pharmacurgy, they can have the inventory needed for one Fergit-You-All. Getting more can't be done just by buy some supplies. Which is no biggie, won't even cost a Billfold point, just let your Storytiller know you're doing it, is all. It may be possible to invent others as well. The Rinse of the Naked Shavin': The smooth-faced (or legged) Leech would do well to avoid the inevitable cuts and burns of a normal razor. Pharmacurgists have easy access to electric razors that don't require cream, and lotions to soothe the skin. Shake the Morning's Breath: This ten minute operation must be done immediately on waking, or the moment is lost. Basically, it entails brushing your teeth, using a bit of mouthwash, and remembering not to eat onions for breakfast. Fumigate with Kindled Fire: Even the Trematore occasionally get fed up with pests living in their homes. Those with this Fergit-You-All know combinations of incense and common kitchen spices that can be safely burned in a small bowl to create smoke that, if it won't actually kill the little scuttlers, will at least chase them off for a while. They also know to sprinkle cinnamon around against ants. Defection of Wooden Broom: Many Leeches have an aversion to sweeping the floors, for all that Piers have that particular knack for sweeping things under the carpet. Pharmacurgists with this Fergit-You-All are beyond that, however, with a range of alternative cleaning products, ranging from dustbusters to cans of spraypaint the same color as the floor or furniture they want `cleaned'. Revel's Crutch: Even Leeches get hangovers. This Fergit-You-All of Pharmacurgy allows you to have ready, immediately on waking, an entire pot of strong coffee, several aspirin, a pair of dark glasses, and a set of fuzzy slippers so you don't even have to listen to your own footsteps until you're ready. Unfortunately, it can do nothing about obnoxious roommates who snuck out in the middle of the night to rent the gong from the local Buddhist temple. Baths One must be at least a Cruiser Pharmacurgist to be licensed to sell anything not strictly over-the-counter. As the second line is added to your boat, you learn to immerse yourself in one of the four Baths; specialties that will influence what kind of shop (or booth, or little black bag) you have, and what's available there. At each subsequent line, you can expand your inventory to include another. Many other Leeches like to refer to these as "Farms", out of a subtle animosity towards the Trematore...they just get a kick out of being able to say "He bought the Farm" after a Trematore has just purchased a new Bath. The first one you picked is known as your First, the second as your Second, the third will be referred to as your Third, and finally, the Last. When a Bath is first earned, you get a small boat for it in the tub, automatically with the first line so it can float at least a little. Additional lines can be added with experience points. Lines in your First Bath cost two apiece, while they cost three apiece in your Second and Third, and because Trematore aren't above ripping each other off a little too, trying to build your Last boat costs four experience points per line. Each time you do anything with any of these, you have to roll your current Pill power. If you succeed, you had everything in stock and you're cool; if the roll doesn't get any successes, however, you were out and had to dip into your personal stock, losing a Pill point. Don't Splortch on this roll. If you Splortch, you pull out your own bottle of Pills but drop it just as you get the child proof cap open, spilling them everywhere and losing your entire supply. The Paste of Mud: The earliest learnings of the Trematore, this Bath includes mud-treatments themselves as well as things that can be gotten by mucking about in the mud (herbs, etc.) It's never admitted to by any Leech, for if people knew they could just grow their own medicine, they'd never spend 500 bucks for a single treatment. o - The Leech gains simple perceptive abilities related to mud, such as recognizing wet dirt from clay. They learn to spot various herbs, but not always exactly what they are or what they do. o -- By successfully rolling around in a mud puddle, a Leech can disguise himself as homeless and destitute. o --- Simple concoctions are possible, like facial cleansers or distillations to make a simple herb more potent (really strong garlic, for example, or vodka.) o ---- The Leech can create pools of mud for spa-style mud baths, and may have one attached to his shop. Fresh hot water must be constantly added to keep it from drying up, however, which can run up the bills after a while. The Leech can, of course, use it themselves, and it's great for the pores. o ----- Stronger concoctions of can be made, including the famed Cauldron of Mud, in which a big glopping mess of mud is boiled until it's hard as a rock. This is how they compress minerals into tablets. Sometimes herbs are added to the Cauldron to give the pills greater effect (such as taking mud with a lot of calcite deposits, and adding peppermint, to get a calcium/peppermint mix that will really calm upset stomachs.) The Pure of Names: Most Trematore willingly sell the generic, less expensive brands of medications, because they're cheaper for the Leech as well as for the consumer. Some, however, specialize only in the expensive stuff, and just charge that much more to make up the difference. Only small increases in the price are possible at lower levels, but those well immersed in this Bath of Pharmacurgy can double or even treble the usual cost and still get sales. Once a day, roll the Pharmacurgists' rating in The Pure of Names; every success gives them a new Billfold point, as they pocket the extra cash bilked out of their customers. Booze, Mint or Vine: Alcohol may not technically be medicinal anymore, but it's a pretty fine distinction, at least in the minds of many Leeches. Such add-ons to the Pharmacurgist's trade rarely have the full range a devoted liquor store would have, so some concessions must be made; beer, peppermint schnapps, and wine are the usual choices. The Leech's rating in this Bath determines just how flooded their shop is with these products: o - One case o -- Twenty bottles o --- 200 assorted cans and bottles o ---- 500 different brands of microbrew o ----- Fully half your shop is taken up by just this Never Can Tell: This Bath is the most erratic; the Leech has a distributor with some problems, but who occasionally just comes through, and can potentially get things no regular medical supply service can. The difficulty of a given procurement depends on how common and how restricted it is; it's tough (LT of 1) to order up anthrax samples, but easy (LT 8) to get a shipment of antacids. The Leech can, at any time, put in a request for goods, and expect it within the week. When it arrives, the player must roll their Never Can Tell rating to try to get the delivery to actually match up with what they ordered. Unfortunately, this is especially difficult, so count the dice that *don't* succeed rather than those that did. If they have less than five dice to roll, the difference counts as automatic failures. Only if you have Never Can Tell at Carrier and all five dice succeed will you get exactly what you wanted. 1 Failure: Frogs. You get everything you wanted, but there are also three crates of live frogs. 2 Failures: Train. You'll get your stuff eventually, but rather than the express air mail you requested, they sent it by the slowest train route they could find. Allow six to eight weeks. 3 Failures: Wind-Up Toys. Half the shipment is of little mechanical toys instead. 4 Failures: Stork. Your supplier is trying out a new delivery method, to cut down on transportation costs. Your entire shipment gets mis-routed to an expectant mother in Believe-It-Or-Not New Mexico. 5 Failures: Postal Strike. Not only do you not get it at all, but the postal workers in your area go on strike; you can't even try for any deliveries for the next month. I expect fretting about how to spend your measly three points for Kiss-Up Lines has probably gotten you all tense. Shoulders knotted, neck sore, the whole nine yards, eh? Well, relax. The Backrubs should make it easier. You get more points for them, they're almost as cool, and if you happen to want more, Killer Bee points go a very long way with them. Of course, I'll bet you still want to actually know what they ARE, so I'll explain them. I'm nice that way. All-Lies - You kind of skipped the ol' med school thing. Normally, this would make it rather difficult to get a job as a Leech or convince anyone other than a Trequi to call you "Doctor", but you have carefully forged documents proving you spent eight years in med school. How good they are, of course, depends on your rating. 1: `Proof' of graduating at the bottom of your class from the "Skool Uv Hard Noks". 2: Evidence that you barely made it out of someplace no one's ever heard of, but at least it sounds feasible. 3: A good showing that you graduated easily from a recognized university. 4: Top of the class, valedictorian, from a prestigious institution. 5: Not only can you claim perfect grades right back through to Kindergarten, but your criminal record is clean, too. Con Tracts - You own huge tracts of land. Unfortunately, this just means you own land - it doesn't replace or equate to the Domicile Kiss-Up Line, though they can go well together. Note that in a real emergency, you can liquidate your holdings, but selling in such a hurry tends to mean it goes to auction, and after taxes and broker fees etc., you don't get a whole lot. In practice, you can instantly convert a line of Con Tracts and gain a number of Billfold points equal to your former level. (e.g. you have Con Tracts at Battleship. You can drop that to Submarine and immediately gain 4 Billfold points.) 1: Bought a share in the Statue of Liberty from a nice man you met on the ferry 2: Own a "rustic cabin" in the "scenic, far from civilization" wilds of "beautiful, exotic Brazil". You've never seen it. You sent an expedition once, but no one came back. 3: Own some land in the mountains that you're told would be excellent farmland if it weren't quite so...vertical 4: Happen to have a stretch of land the government is thinking of building a highway on 5: An empty lot in the middle of a prime development zone Frame - You have a particular ability to lay your mistakes at the feet of another. Whenever you're caught doing something wrong, roll your Frame + Holistics to explain how it's actually someone else's fault. The extent to which this actually gets you off the hook, even if it succeeds, will still depend on how many successes you get and the attitude of who you're talking to about this kind of victimism. 1: "_Dungeons That Drag On_ made me do it! Honest!" 2: "I got caught in a Martian mind control ray." 3: "I'm just a victim of society." 4: "I'd never have come to such a sad state if Mom hadn't loved my sister best." 5: "Ultimately, I think you'll agree it's Saddam Hussain's fault." Generosity - This Backrub describes what a generous Leech you are. No, really, you're kind-hearted and love the little kiddies. *ahem* I'm not twitching, am I? Okay, okay, I give up; you don't care and the snot-nosed brats aren't good for much more than making bratwurst. But that doesn't mean you can't pretend. If you donate to a charity someone cares about, they'll like you better, and big donations almost anywhere can drum up good publicity. The most important thing about it, though, is that they often give back little trinkets, and the most popular are slightly larger billfolds with your initials on them. Hence, for every point in Generosity you have, you can fit an extra bill in your Billfold, raising your maximum over ten. 1: Gave to Citizens for Rush Limburger For President 2: A regular donor to the Save the Dodo Fund 3: Donate every year to the effort to Give Some Poor Slob You'll Never Meet A Turkey Dinner 4: The local orphanage, parenting clinic, retirement home, and mass grave are all named after you 5: You've actually been seen getting your own hands dirty helping to put up housing for the poor. Not only seen, but nationally televised. This is less a stroke of luck than many people think. It's not like you were there to put up the stupid housing, is it? Nerd - While everyone else was out drinking beer and getting laid, you were sitting alone in the library reading a book. At the time, many of your fellow med students thought it was a waste of time, but just look at you now! You have your own library card, and still haven't had sex. In addition to its use in conducting research, your Nerd level is also added to Runt rolls; whenever you want to convince someone that you're absolutely *not* a threat in any way, roll Aha + Nerd. 1: Have your own library card 2: Access to non-public libraries 3: Own the entire Encyclopedia Australianica 4: Know how to search the Internet for things *other* than porn 5: When you absolutely must, can stop and ask for directions Insurance - What you're doing here, basically, is paying someone a bunch of money on a regular basis, so that if something goes wrong in the future, they might pay for it...if they really can't find any way out of it. Some people, and even some Leeches, find it surprising how much trouble the insurance companies go to to avoid paying out, but it makes more sense once you realize that they've already SPENT your money. Banks, at least ostensibly, actually expect to give it back eventually; insurance companies started thinking of it as theirs as soon as the check cleared. In Leech, if something goes wrong that falls under one of the categories you're covered for, you can roll your Insurance + Jettison to foist the consequences off on your insurance carrier. The roll has an LT of 2, but if you succeed, they have to come in and take care of things for you - build a new house, replace a stolen TV, what have you. Note that the higher levels of Insurance cover you against lower levels, too. 1: Insured against UFOs and reincarnating as a lower life-form 2: Come Hell or high water, you're insured against fire and flood damage, along with most other natural disasters 3: Theft, vandalism, and other malicious acts of your fellow man, but only against property damage 4: Life insurance: The first time you die, you don't even have to roll. They bring you back to life. After the one time, however, your basic mortality will be considered a "pre-existing condition" and they won't do it again. 5: Your insurance is so good it actually covers Acts of God. 'Course, you have to prove that God actually did it, but he smites Leeches often enough that this shouldn't be too difficult. Genter - The Leech with Genter hasn't exactly learned to seem superior to everyone else, but rather, to look and act like a genuinely nice guy. It compliments Yin-Guises well, in that Genter is a matter of having manners so well ingrained that you do them *all the time*. Other Leeches will give you funny looks, but normal people appreciate it; among non-Leeches (and other non-PC-types), add your Genter rating to all Hi rolls, and any rolls that involve making or leaving a good impression. 1: Remember to say "please" and "thank you". 2: Hold the door for people with fifty pounds of packages 3: Respect your elders, believe in "ladies first" 4: Have been known to apologize sincerely after hurting someone, even accidentally 5: Have found the fine balance between chivalry and chauvinism Remorses - Everyone has regrets. If it's not things they've done they wish the hadn't, then it's things they haven't done they wish they had. Happily, this applies not just to complete strangers, but also to direct superiors, direct subordinates, in-laws, directors of important projects...oh, you name it. That's why we started this description off with "Everyone." We weren't exaggerating there as we so often do. The Leech with this Backrub has found a few out, but more importantly, knows how to USE them. Whenever you find out a remorse of an NPC in play, you can roll Hmmm + Remorses to use it as a lever on them, whether by hinting about how upset their wife would be if she found out, or suggesting that if you had some help on this project you'll be able to take some time off to go skiing this weekend, and sure would like some company, and, hey, weren't they just commenting the other day that they wished they could give it a try? How you find these out is up to your own ingenuity, though. In the meantime, you start out with strong leverage on a few people according to your rating. 1: Leverage on one guy, nothing major 2: Two nothing majors, OR a kinda noteworthy 3: Three nothing majors, two kinda noteworthies, OR a pretty big 4: Four nothing majors, three kinda noteworthies, two pretty bigs, OR a V.I.P. 5: Five nothing majors, four kinda noteworthies, three pretty bigs, two V.I.P.s, AND a partridge in a pear tree. Tee-Timers - Golf is integral to the Leech lifestyle. Everyone does it. No one knows why. Your skill at golf, however, translates more directly than anything else into status within the Leech community. Genter might impress the yokels, but a hole in one will instinctively impress even the Buboha, even though logically, they all KNOW golf is a complete waste of time and resources. Leeches of a more philosophical bent have theorized that it's a connection of understanding; just as Leeches take up as much of the time and money of their `patients' as they can, golf courses take up more space and precious water from a community than would ever be allowed for anything else so frivolous, even in times of draught. Whatever the reason, the size of your Tee-Timers boat indicates how respected you are in the Leech community, as well as how good you are at golf, and also represents a good place to go for lunch...as long as you aren't bringing any ruffians. ("Ruffians" would be anyone with more than one point less in Tee-Timers. So if you have Tee-Timers at 4 and Billy has a rating of 2, you can't bring Billy. Sharon, with her 3, is okay, and of course both of you could go with Billy...if you didn't mind being seen in such a place.) Mostly, you just get to look down your nose at other players who have lower ranks in this than you, but sometimes it'll add to social rolls, and it can be vital if you get involved with the politics of the Cashorrhea. STATs - STAT seems to be short for "statim", which is Latin and means "immediately." I have friends in the military who assure me it's an actual acronym for something, but none who can think quite what OF, and all agree that it's likely it went into the military with the medical corps and, because no one KNEW what "stat" meant, they made an acronym up to fit. Aren't you glad Leeches aren't in the military? All you have to worry about is that this lets you do things right away. It doesn't exactly let you move faster than anyone else, or make your orders that much more commanding, but you get right off your duff and start in on it, and don't get distracted until it's done. When you need something done *NOW*, roll your Whee + STATs; any successes you get offset whatever LT modifier the OGL&M might want to give you for working too quickly. One thing almost totally unrelated to those, but still vaguely important. I bet you forgot that comment about Leeches being Trendy. Well, keep it in mind, because it can be important. It comes out mostly whenever a new treatment comes down the line. Leeches all hear the name, their customers hear the name, and no one's quite sure what it does but they're pretty sure it does something cool, and before you know it, Viagra's being prescribed for heart problems and Ritalin's a diet pill. This aspect has minimal impact on play, except as a potential basis for an adventure -- say, the pill the characters have just prescribed to seventy eight patients between them, giving each one an average of a twelve year supply, has just been recalled for inducing psychosis in 99.8% of its subjects, and everyone's laughing at what an amusing fluke it was that the six thousand test subjects all fit in that .2%. Just one of the joys of random selection. However, whenever you're in a group of more than three people, when more than half of them are doing the same thing, you may have to roll to avoid going along. This applies even if you started it. You can just go along with it if it looks like fun (this is known as Catching the Wave, because the very first recorded Trend to really sweep across all of Leechdom through the miracle of mass media was the campaign slogan for Meth-A-Cola), in which case, just...go along with it. However, if doing it is going to interfere with your goals, you can use your Spur/Glues to keep yourself on track...pick whichever one is appropriate (the Storytiller might have a helpful suggestion, which you would be well advised to agree with), and roll it. No Attriboats or Backrubs helping out here, just the Spur/Glue. If you succeed, you're ok. If not, you not only go along, but go along with gusto. (For a quick example, say a Gangren is using Hearth Mauled to start up a really raucous party. Rather than risk being seen with her own fingerprints on any broken crockery, she just gets the beer flowing, tells the band to strike up their most ear-shattering tune, and then plans to slip out...but people are already getting into the mood, and a bunch of them start slam-dancing. The poor Gangren must now roll Control Freak to stay on track and sneak off while her rival's house gets trashed...if she fails, she'll not only join in with the slam dancing, but will be clearly visible body surfing and striking up a mosh pit.) Bettering Yourself At the Expense of Others So? That's it. You're done. Character made. Go away. What? Oh, you were going to actually PLAY this character? You'd inflict THAT jerk on your fellow players? What kind of heartless, cold...oh, you say they're all doing it, too. Well, that's alright, then. Just as long as everyone's clear on this. Okay, if you're actually playing the game, you can actually get some experience points. (OGL&M: Not too many, mind, or they won't need to play anymore, and then who will you experiment on? Keep it down around 4 or 5 a session, or 20 if they'll sleep with you or do your shopping.) *ahem* You can be sure your Storytiller will award you generously, because Storytillers are kind and giving folk, and you better not have read that private note clearly marked and intended JUST FOR the Storytiller. So, as you get your experience points, you can spend them to build up your character, kind of like the old Killer Bee points, though the costs have changed. Adding a new Liability, with just one line, costs 3 points, and a new Kiss-Up Line is seven flat. If you want to increase something you already have, you'll have to multiply. (Oooohhh...) Kiss-Up Lines can be awfully expensive *except* for the three in your Plan. If it's one of your original three, it only costs three times your current dot; if it's not, it's times five. (This is where Midwiffs get screwed, by the way. So much for you oh-so-clever folk who wanted to strike out and combine the Kiss-Up Lines in a way I hadn't anticipated for you. Let that be a lesson to you: The Storytiller may know all, but the game designer knows best. So nyah.) Attriboats are uniformly four times your current level, and Liabilities only double. Increasing your Pill bottle's capacity or building on your Spur/Glues only costs whatever the current level is, so if you've got Incorrigible at Submarine and want to build it up to Battleship, that's just three experience points. On the down side, your Hum-A-Ditty, after character creation, goes floating free, no longer dependent upon nor influenced by the Spur/Glues. So when you increase your Unconscionable rating, that's all that goes up. Improving your Hum-A-Ditty can only be done after lots of concentrated effort on reaching the goal of your own Golf-Condo. Perhaps if you gain a new contact in the golf industry, or succeed at a risky real estate venture...but ultimately, this is absolutely one-hundred percent up to OGL&M, who will probably keep you too busy with other things all the time anyway. What's worse, you can *lose* Hum-A-Ditty points. The path to success is fraught with dangers, and you'll have to harden yourself to trampling over anyone who gets in your way if you want to enjoy a refreshing game of golf on your own course. Whenever your character does something that seems likely to endanger their standing or finances, or that suggests they may not have the stomach for this kind of thing, OGL&M can have you roll one of the three Spur/Glues to see if you can get back in `the Zone' in time. Roll Control Freak if you've let someone else take charge and, more importantly, credit; Unconscionable if you've given something for the betterment of mankind; and Incorrigible if you take the time to realize that you've hurt someone. Note that neither the Genter nor Generosity Backrubs count for any of these; both of those entail not true altruism, but only cynical self-interest. The ultimate goal of any of Leech is to have your own Golf-Condo. A home where you don't have to mow the lawn, but which nevertheless sports its own golf course. It's not so much to ask, really. Strangely, achieving this goal has nothing to do with the Domicile Kiss-Up Line; those homes are oriented to impress others, while a Golf-Condo is entirely for your own pleasure. How close a Leech is to achieving a Golf-Condo can be determined by their Hum-A-Ditty; a Leech who actually achieves a full Steamliner of Hum-A-Ditty has made it all the way, and will be heard humming tunes like "Easy Street", "Home On The Range", and the smash hit by Murray and the Moneygrubbers, "My Golf-Condo Is Bigger Than Your Golf-Condo (Nyah, Nyah)". The World of Leeches Of course, Leech society doesn't exist in a vacuum. If it did, it would have explosively decompressed long ago. No, there's a long history behind them, for Leeches have been around almost as long as there have been swamps. Their full history is known to very few, though it's rumoured to be set down in a single tome known as the _Book of Wink_. What is known is that they were founded by a Prestidigitatorr, an early member of what would become the Kashinhand Brotherhood named Raphael "Candyman" Cain. Candy, as he was known to his friends...well, friend, anyway...realized that people would pay for frivolities only as long as their life didn't depend on that money...so clearly, the best way to suck those last dregs of cash out of them was to make them believe that their life DID depend on it. Simply taking up a large knife and explaining this connection - their money or their life - seemed a short lived prospect; easy for the first couple instances, but not so good in the long run. Instead, he hit on the idea of taking problems they already had, and convincing them 1) that this was potentially fatal, and 2) that he could fix it. It didn't take long before he had followers. He embraced those who were interested in his scheme, and soon they were too organized to fit in with the relative anarchy inherent in Prestidigitatorr kind. They broke off to form their own organizations, developing their own techniques and refining the broad practice of Psycholology into what are the Kiss-Up Lines today. Unfortunately, there grew to be too many Leeches, and resentment came to the people. While royalty was still relatively easy to fool, the common folk started to notice that their cures didn't work. There was some competition with the church, as well, for the Leeches tended to leave their patients so destitute that they had nothing to leave to the church when they died. And so, several centuries ago, came what is now known as The Inhibitions. As plague swept across Europe, Pope Guilty MCDLXVII declared medical science bogus. The Leeches were in tatters, driven out and underground. The very concept was nearly destroyed, but for the brilliance of Nathanial Andrew d'Manor, who appeared during the Renaissance. He proposed the Plan. The Plan, of course, was to convince people once again that Leeches were not only useful, but necessary. They were organized into Arch Types, and Plans. Gradually, the Kiss-Up Lines were revived and revitalized. Soon, it was all so successful that Leech society divided into three major groups. It seems, however, that there are once again becoming too many Leeches. The quarreling over limited resources grows fierce, causing strife between the Plans that were meant to work together. Even worse, is the Gee Dad. In the patriarchal organization of the Leeches, it has come about recently that the older members have taken to using their sponsorship of new members as a way to influence them to take care of the elder in later years. Meanwhile, the younger members pester their elders, asking for loans and, ultimately, jockeying for their positions, thinking that a younger, more dynamic mind might do better in the upper echelons. Because the older Leeches still have the most influence, this conflict has been characterized as the whining of the youngers, and is therefor known as the Gee Dad. The Cashorrhea is the major group that most concerns Leech: The Medicaid. Medicaid, and the rest of the health insurance industry, is their invention. Through its cunning, people pay medical bills -even when they're not sick-. When someone does come in, the Leeches send the bill to an insurance agency, usually run by the Dentrue or Trematore, who, of course, just pay it with the patient's money. The patient has already written that money off, and never even looks at the bill, so they can get away with charging more for a night on a hospital bed in a room with twelve other people than most hotels can get away with for a double bed room with kitchenette. Money has been just gushing through this system. The enemies of the Cashorrhea are the Scabbat. Also Leeches, the fiendish Scabbat want to stop up the free flow of moolah into the Cashorrhea's coffers. Members of the Scabbat tend to cooperate - rarely will you find one acting alone. Rather, four or five will infiltrate a city and start up a low-cost clinic, actually giving care to people at rates that even someone getting minimum wage can afford to pay up front. Their sinister motives are unknown. Finally, there are the Incontinentu. The oldest surviving Leeches, the Incontinentu have withdrawn from Leech society, and will have nothing to do with the Gee Dad. They can take care of themselves, darnit, even if their bladder control is long gone and their teeth are in a jar. Rarely will a Leech actually meet one of the Incontinentu - they don't get around much - but when one does, they can be very cryptic and enigmatic. Or, as the case may be, senile and difficult to understand, what with the tooth thing. There is one significant external foe to the Leeches, who are known as the Loopies. Loopies are, bluntly, the violently insane. Leeches don't deal with mental disorders, as a rule, and when they do, they get themselves into a cushy minimum security psychiatric ward. There are, however, a significant number of psychopaths who seem to feel instinctively that doctors are Bad, and will attack them on sight. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------