LEECH: The Medicaid

GNAWLEDGES:

Sure-Are-Classy - Beyond etiquette and well into snobbery.

1: Had that "pointy nose" job done.
2: Always wear your Rolex and Armani sunglasses.
3: Know how to dangle a cigarette
4: Never look at or speak directly to "the help"
5: Had your fur coat given a spray-paint resistant coating

Compu-leer - The average Leech has only one use for the Internet: Porn. Er, that is, anatomical studies. Well, okay, and stock market reports.

1: Know how to get to the Payboy and Spendhouse sites
2: Registered on a few major commercial areas
3: Have two or three chatroom personas
4: A full suite of usenet groups
5: Host your own from an off-shore server

Fine Dance- They may be moralless scum, but you've gotta admit...Leeches CAN dance, if they put their mind to it.

1: Slam dancing
2: Jitterbug, mashed potato, and twist
3: Waltz, square dancing, or other line-dance types
4: Invent your own moves, and have them catch on
5: Can actually Tango alone

Investing is Fun - For those poor, sad Leeches who have to support themselves, there's no better choice than the stock market.

1: Controlling share in "Enemas `B' We"
2: Good use of IRAs and 401(k) plans
3: Have a broker and a fairly diverse portfolio
4: An early investor in Muckrosoft
5: A family investment history that goes back to your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather backing some bizarre new concept called the "wheel"

Flaw - Sometimes, it's important to screw things up. Often, so you won't be asked to do it again, but also if you're just `helping out' with a rival's project. High levels of this Liability indicate not only how much damage you can do, but how subtle you can be about it.

1: Drop at least one plate every time you do dishes
2: Spill coffee on important notes
3: Seem to think "Format" is the computer's optimization program
4: Subtly drag your feet until it's -just- too late
5: Bring all your notes with you on your three-week vacation to an inaccessible island in Polynesia, because you're just *that* dedicated. Even the backup copies.

Yin-Guises - Since their inception, the Plans have made sure that everyone knows you can trust a doctor. This Liability is how good you are at presenting that image of absolute honesty and...and...other unprofitable "qualities".

1: Can look basically honest, but only by being cold and distant
2: Come across as young, fresh and idealistic
3: Present yourself as experienced and fatherly/motherly
4: Invoke memories of childhood mentors
5: Like Dr. Hyde, you have learned a chemical formula that will actually alter your physical and psychological structure. You can use a Pill point to change to your Mr. Jekyll alter-ego, with no roll needed.

Jettison - Sometimes, you need to get rid of something very quickly. Usually it's evidence when the police kicking down your door, but sometimes it's `marital aids' when your mother comes visiting. In either case, this is how you do it.

1: Stuff it under the mattress
2: Throw it out the window, and hope it doesn't hit anyone
3: Flush it down the toilet
4: Stash it under the floorboards or over the ceiling tiles
5: Swallow it, and wash it down with a cool, refreshing, Meth-A-Cola

Occlude - Essentially, your ability to fit things together. (Hey, this is Leech: The Medicaid. It's the dental definition, where the teeth fit together. So there.)

1: Insert tab A into slot B
2: Good at jigsaw puzzles
3: Can purchase, without fear, furniture and appliances marked "some assembly required"
4: Past master at even the 3-D jigsaw puzzles
5: Supreme spatial sense, you can measure precisely just by sight

Holistics - The interconnectedness of all things. While Occlude shows where things fit physically, Holistics lets you see how what kind of sandwich you order now is going to affect peace talks in the Middle East. This skill is especially useful for explaining certain income tax deductions.

1: Astrology sure has some good points
2: Meteorologists should pay more attention to butterflies in southeast Asia
3: You can follow most conspiracy theories with ease
4: Understand why a Congressional Committee on a critical domestic issue would naturally have to take a trip to the Caribbean as part of their study
5: Can see the direct link between pornography on the internet and crime in the Bronx

-ogyism - Psychology. Meteorology. Anthropology. Froggy. Okay, skip the last one...but all the various -ogys they were trying to teach you in college. Leeches with this Liability actually read some of those books, and may still know a couple. For each line in this Gnawledge, just pick one...but it has to end with -ogy.

1: Know one -ogy
2: Know two -ogys
3: Know three -ogys
4: Know four -ogys
5: Know five -ogys



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Left gives you a good knock on the Skulls.
Right tells you what those Spur/Glue things are.