Name: Father Dactylo Sanguinus

Address & Contact Information:
1805 Exodus #185, LA
OR Vet Placement svcs, 1-800-BURN-OUT

Position Applying For: Dishwasher

Career Statement: I seek only to work at a regular job, to earn enough to survive and donate to the Save the Koalas Fund, and to feel the warm blood of the heathens wash over my skin.

Education:
2 yrs seminary, 1 yr Slumberland indoctrination

Work Experience:

Oct. 2022 - Present
Title: Inmate 51983642X
Pay: 0
Company: LA Maximum Security Penitentiary
Supervisor: Big Ed, Warden, Cell Block E (deceased)

Accomplishments: Served as Assistant Chaplain, ministering to spiritual needs of fellow inmates. Ate Big Ed's heart & lungs to release him from heathen existance. Spent last 6 months in deep meditation in UltraSolitary and was granted revelation that Reckoning is soon at hand.

Reason for Leaving: Budget reductions, mandatory random inmate release program.

Jul. 2021 - Oct. 2022
Unemployed; ministered to the poor and unsuspecting.

May 2020 - Jul. 2021
Title: Volunteer Speaker
Pay: Food, Lodging, Medication
Company: Veteran Redemption League
Supervisor: Tom Jenkins (deceased)

Accomplishments: Spoke to many audiences on the absolute redeemability of the soul. Helped organize effort to release unfairly convicted Vet Sally The Heartbreaker.

Reason for Leaving: Discovered Tom patronizing heathen Tastee Ghoul, sent him screaming to Hell to learn the error of his ways.

Nov. 2018 - Apr. 2020
Title: Inmate 28715310R
Pay: 0
Company: LA Maximum Security Penitentiary
Supervisor: Cheryl Wendigo, Warden, Cell Block Y (deceased)

Accomplishments: Learned Woodworking. Achieved 3 years Early Release for Good Behavior. Thwarted release of irreverent Bill "The Agnostic" McKenna by leaving head of Cheryl Wendigo under his bed

Reason for Leaving: Early Release for Good Behavior.

Oct. 2018 - Nov. 2018
Title: Fry Chef
Pay: $3.25/hr + lunch
Company: Tastee Ghoul
Supervisor: Harry Thurston (deceased)

Accomplishments: Infiltrated Evil Establishment. Chef of the Week Award. Slaughtered entire afternoon shift and showed forty-two customers the error of their thinking

Reason for Leaving: My Work here was done.

Jul. 2016 - Oct. 2018
Title: Infiltration Specialist
Pay: Training, Boost, Food, Lodging, Expenses
Company: DHI, Black Jackals Signal Corps
Supervisor: "Walks-With-Big-Gat"

Accomplishments: Classified

Reason for Leaving: Unit officially disbanded for budgetary reasons.

May 2015 - Jun. 2016
Title: Asst. Manager
Pay: 4.50/hr + meal
Company: Sweeney's Old Fashioned
Supervisor: Chuck Manson

Accomplishments: Three-Times Grinder(tm) Specialist

Reason for Leaving: DHI Recruiter


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j n m ( m n j )
"I'll solve this problem later, however." -- Game Designers Anonymous