Mom: An Earthdawn Tribute

Okay, sure, so Earthdawn's officially a dead system. Like that's going to stop us? Geeze. I was thinking about the explanation for their Disciplines the other day...professions so etched in legend and history that they've become magically-bolstered Archtypes. Cool idea, sure, but does anybody REALLY believe that there've been Swordsmasters longer than Moms? Like the Tourist isn't at least as clearly defined a phenomenon as any Archer?

Anyway, you know me. (Well, no, most of you don't. At least, I HOPE most of you don't. I know we have at least five readers, because I see them a couple days after we put up any new issue and quiz them on it, and if they haven't read it they get whithering stares until they promise to do it at their earliest opportunity. But I can't do that for everyone.) So, okay, you may not know me, but if you've been paying any attention at all, you know I can't resist meddling, and this issue's main meddle is a Mundane Disciplines for Earthdawn...the Mom.


Mom

Mom's are the ultimate parental units, able to keep track of six rampaging kids, fold laundry, and prepare dinner...all at the same time. Note that there ARE male Moms, especially in T'Skrang society, but Dad is a completely different Discipline. (Dads, by and large, can play catch, but their Talents run mostly to suddenly spitting out quotable wisdom.)

Important Attributes (we're back to Moms now, by the way): Dexterity, Strength, Toughness, Perception, Willpower, Charisma

Racial Restrictions: Obsidimen. Some people think this explains an awful lot about Obsidimen. Blood Elves, also, as Alachia has decreed that they shouldn't need a Mom besides her.

Karma Ritual: The Mom must stand in the middle of the house, with one hand on her hip and the other in front of her, index finger pointed out. Shaking the finger, the Mom engages in a 15 minute litany of such phrases as, "Don't talk with your mouth full," and, "If you keep making that face, it's going to freeze that way." The ritual ends when she gets a suddenly distressed look and says, "Omigod, I'm starting to sound just like my mother."

Artisan Skill: Sewing or Things-To-Do-On-A-Rainy-Afternoon

Talents (*'d Talents are Discipline Talents):

FIRST CIRCLE

Direction Asking
When a Mom gets lost, she can, unlike Dads, stop and ask for directions. Roll Rank + Perception against the target's Social Defense. On a Success, they tell Mom how to get where she's going. On an Extraordinary Success, they can do this even if they didn't KNOW how a moment ago.
* Empathic Sense
Just like the usual, but Moms are always attuned to their kids.
Karma Ritual
* Man-euver
This Talent lets Mom get help from passerbys. Using Rank + Charisma, she can induce a helpful stranger to stop and do anything from re-shoeing a horse, hunting up some food, or helping defend against Scorchers.
Read and Write Shorthand
Moms have their own particular form of Shorthand, used for To-Do lists, grocery lists, lists of improvements they'd like made on the house, etc.
Tracking
From years of hide-and-go-seek.

SECOND CIRCLE

Durability (10/8)
* Borrow Cents
Spare change. Sugar. A warm cloak. By rolling Rank + Willpower, Mom can borrow, from anyone, an item with a cost in silver pieces less than the total. Better yet, there's no real expectation of these things being returned. This *can* apply to services as well as goods.
Evidence Analysis
Jes' the same. Moms can tell at a glance what you've been up to.

THIRD CIRCLE

Argument Recall
The Mom can remember every line of every argument she's ever been in, and quote back the stupid things you said verbatim.
* Abate Cursing
Works best with a bit of soap. If the soap is applied to the cursing character's mouth within a number of hours equal to the Mom's Rank in Abate Cursing, the Curse is retracted. This applies to magical curses as well as general swearing.

FOURTH CIRCLE

Thread Weaving (Home Weaving)
Down Fluff
Using Rank + Dexterity, against the object's Armor Rating, Mom can fluff pillows perfectly. Even pillows that, technically speaking, are rocks. This won't help Recovery Tests, per se, but it will let someone sleep comfortably under any environmental conditions.

FIFTH CIRCLE

Sense Dirt
Technically, not just crumbled earth; this Talent applies, basically, to anything messily out of place. Dirt on the ground doesn't count; dirt in the house does. Water in a glass doesn't; spilled water does. Dead bodies in graves don't; dead bodies up and walking around do. Roll Rank + Perception against the Spell Defense of whatever might be sensed.
* White Picket Fence
Moms have an information network that spans the world. The Mom must hang out at a white picket fence for about ten minutes. (ANY white picket fence. Some Moms venturing out into the wilderness have been known to carry a few whitewashed boards, just in case. They then use Man-euver to get someone to build a small fence out of it, and presto.) After that time, another Mom will kind of wander up, as if they just had something minor to do there. The two Moms can then pass along whatever gossip they know.

SIXTH CIRCLE

Spot Story Flaw
Never try lying to a Mom. She'll know.
Steely Stare

SEVENTH CIRCLE

Resist Tantrum
This improves a Mom's Social Defense against attempts to manipulate by anger. It also improves her Defense ratings against Thrown items, and Talents like Whirlwind, Claw Frenzy, Battle Shout...anything that involves pushing people around in a big emotional release.
Temper Temper
This Talent is used to calm down an angry child, or, as the case may be, an angry Troll Sky Raider. Whatever. It's Rank + Charisma against their Social Defense, and if it works, they can't feel really *angry* for a number of minutes equal to Mom's Rank. Instead, they feel kind of sheepish if they try.

EIGHTH CIRCLE

Laundry Strike
By the time a Mom has reached Eighth Circle, she's usually taken for granted around the house. By not doing any cleaning for a couple weeks, she can remind everyone who keeps everything running.
* Engagement Barter
Also by the time a Mom has reached Eighth Circle, her first child, at least, is usually ready to be married off. Rolling Rank + Willpower + the child's Charisma Step, Mom can arrange for a suitable mate. When two Moms with this ability are both involved, both roll. Otherwise, the potential spouse's parent `resists' with a base Charisma default. After the deal is struck, BOTH Children roll their Willpower; if either beats the Mom's total, they rebel, and it probably ends up with some zany mixup with some fake poison and before you know it everyone's dead.

NINTH CIRCLE

Water Dancing
Well, any kid'll tell you; of course Mom could walk on water if she really tried.
* Mother's Voice
Even Horrors respond to the sudden sharp tones of Mom. Roll Rank + Willpower against the highest Social Defense targeted, +1 for anyone else Mom wants to include. On a Good or better success, they'll all instinctively obey one sharp command, like, "Cut that out".

TENTH CIRCLE

Assign Blame
Moms can use their Rank + Perception to spot who's really behind something. This really messes up the Slough Blame Talent.
* Sharp Tongue
A Mom in a bad mood knows *just* the worst thing to say. This works like an attack, with a range of up to 10 yards, rolling Rank + Perception for the attack and using Mom's Charisma Step as the Damage roll. The GM may add Steps if the player comes up with a telling comment.

ELEVENTH CIRCLE

Forge Amour
By the time a Mom is reaching 11th Circle, it's not uncommon for some of the, well, spark to go out of the marriage. But a Mom with this Talent can at least pretend, using Rank + Dexterity.
Develop Sixth Sense
It's not a myth. High Circle Moms really DO have eyes in the back of their head. Eyes that can see through walls.

TWELVETH CIRCLE

Egg Beater
The perfect omlette or souffle.
* Screaming Heebie-Jeebies
When Mom's kids are in imminent danger, she'll know. Wherever she is, she'll know. And she'll go into such hysterics that everyone around will immediately mount up to go fix the problem. Rather, up to one person per Rank.

THIRTEENTH CIRCLE

Blood Guilt
This only works on family members, but boy does it work. Mom can use her Rank + Toughness to remind them that they never write, they don't send Light Sprites even though she knows those glowing men they've been hanging out with lately have shown them how, but no, no, that's alright, don't trouble yourself, she's sure tracking down one more Horror is more important than your dear, old, lonely mother whose house is only falling down, that's all, nothing to worry about.
* Move Earth
Er, this is something only Dads should know the details about.

FOURTEENTH CIRCLE

Share Network
Truly legendary Moms can convince not only their own, but an entire neighborhood of kids that sharing really IS good. This good example then inspires the adults. Pretty soon, the whole town is sharing...and they all get a bonus to their Social Defense equal to the initiating Mom's Rank against any attempts, even by Horrors, to break their community up.
Thick Skin
A combination of Resist Taunt and Wood Skin, Thick Skin does both.

FIFTEENTH CIRCLE

Confront Horror
Just like the Bardic Talent, but requiring Mother's Voice instead. Legends are still told of Momma Kass Skybender, the Troll Mom, who looked Mageslayer right in the eyes and said, "Go back to your Netherplane this INSTANT, you horrible beast!" Without supper, no less.
Plan Surprise
Hey, for all that Moms always know what their kids are up to, kids usually know their birthday presents three weeks in advance. It's HARD to surprise a Kid. Mom has to roll her Rank + Dexterity to keep something secret if it involves the kid directly. Years of learning how to do this can also be applied to springing other surprises on other people. Like ambushes.

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j n m ( m n j )
"There is hope for any one who can look in a mirror and laugh at what they see."
-- we're just full of unattributed proverbs tonight!