SAM's SLAMS

 [A Picture of Our Critic]

Transcribed and Interpretated by Meera Barry

Samantha is our one year (and one month or so) volunteer Technical Expert. Her advice, so far, has been excellent, and in view of her good taste, we sought her for our gaming review column.

This issue, we brought over to her a selection of three games. AEON, now renamed TRINITY by White Wolf Game Systems, WITCHCRAFT by Myrmidion Press, and IN NOMINE by Steve Jackson Games.


TRINITY:

Samantha was in a receptive mood when we applied her to review our eclectic selection. Her mother's assistance was required in opening up the dubious (if so far quite stable) packaging. Once opened, Samantha looked interested, cooing at the colour picture and story upfront... she sang a low lyricless song as she flipped through pages, but it became obvious that while the fiction transfixed her to some degree, the rest of the game soon lost her attention as she flipped larger and larger sections. She made some of the colour pages briefly sticky, but otherwise, no discernable mark was left on either subject. She seemed to find the exercise satisfactory and completed her singing.

WITCHCRAFT:

Samantha snorted at the cover picture, and was rather uninterested in the history and net-rumour supplied her about the system. She briefly flipped through it a first time, no particular section catching her interest in specific. It did not possess any level of edibility, though she seemed to turn the pages speculatively.

Her older sister, Kyria, allowed that the art was "spooky" at best, although she agreed with the common assessment that the lamia on page 25 was "a babe".

After some reflection, Samantha came back to the book after her dinner. She was a little more interested in it this time, and after opening it to one of their sample characters (the Bast "Alley Cat", page 94) she pointed at some of the numbers and laughed, singing about it briefly (and indecipherably) in a mood somewhere between ecstatically amused and baffled.

IN NOMINE:

While this rated Kyria's most sincere "thumbs up" (the interpreter suggests this may be because of the "Kyriotates" similarity with her name), Samantha seemed less enchanted with it. Sam was rather concerned with the index, and pointed speculatively at some of the illustrations within with a curiosity usually reserved to art critics and small children with indigestion. She skipped over the conflict resolution system entirely, going straight to the interesting Superior characters (with an unexplained emphasis on Archangel Marc and Demon Prince Malphas). She tried the bent corners of the covers with a tentative pinching, but did not seem interested in trying its taste.

She also returned briefly to the book after her dinner, but after making the interpreter describe some of the scenario involved, lost interest and went back to her new circus train set which had a lion, and a giraffe, and better yet, had a button that made it squeak.


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j n m ( m n j )
"What are you gonna do? 'Have more friends' at me?"
-- the LintKing about his low rank in "Loyalists and Flunkies"